People want to be seen and heard by other people, they want to have confirmation that you are interested in them and not that you don't give a damn about them.
And that is wy we are supposed to give them explanation. Sometimes, I decided not to involve in gossips anymore. They may lead to disagreement and then a taunting remark by the person in front. I opted an attitude of saying "what I can say about this matter." But then I had to quit it as this attitude also gave a negative signal to them.
The insistent questioning of the reasons, the disagreement with the decision of your friend, your sister or your work colleague is good for one thing: to realise that you don't know why you do or don't do something.
This is something, I truly believe. I would like to write a separate post on it. I hope I would. Hehe. I think more than I write. Lazy me....!
Now come to the point where the conversation began. I think keeping ourselves to us is very very important. You never know when your mind changes (we ourselves don't exactly know the reasons, at times). If there is a change in your mind, people torment a lot. I am amazed your culture also have this attitude. Think of the collectivist culture like mine where everyone consider it a right to discuss and comment on others matter.
Lol. Keeping us to us alone is also comfortable because we don't have to go through a chain of arguments that may consume a lot of our energy for nothing. But I wonder if it is really possible to connect with others by keeping 100% of us to us. Sometimes, our thoughts slip out of our mouth unintentionally. At other times, we are supposed to explain for not letting the other person feel disconnected
HaHa! That makes me laugh. It happened to me, too. My saying was a bit different, I answered "You know best what to do" :) It's funny that this is received as a negative answer, no?
People are smart though. When they sniff that behind a sentence the heart is less involved than the mind, they detect a judging nuance. And that's what causes further questions. If I am free of judgement, I can say almost everything and it'll be received in a more sincere manner. When I judge inwardly, it'll backfire, no matter how nice I said it. Cann you confirm that?
Keeping a hundred percent to ourselves... I think it's possible. Let me explain in which way I mean it.
The philosophy of my thoughts is that the virtues are not about passing them on to others without prompting. First and foremost, the virtues themselves "say" this, opposing pride in the bearer of words. Rather, I understand it in such a way that the desire to proselytise others already carries the contradiction that they are pursuing an active mission of wanting to teach virtue to others, while the message of the virtues themselves rejects precisely this.
The (unsolicited) announcement of my intentions was therefore a foolish thing to do, since it believed itself to be basking in the pride of an incipient zeitgeist, which is called: "Protect the environment" and I thought myself quite safe in it and assumed that I would now get rid of all counter-arguments with it. I behaved just as stupidly on numerous other occasions, becoming the priestess of an ideology that, because it was already far ahead of me, seemed to confer a legitimacy.
The doctrine of virtues, and those who are on friendly terms with it, know that it seems to exist only because man is inclined to violate it. If it were quite easy to always follow virtues, they would not exist. What is easy to do needs no extra emphasis. It goes without saying.
But since every law "knows" of itself that it will be broken, people need not be stricter and more controlling than they are, for it says nothing other than, for example, that patience is a virtue or "thou shalt not lie", knowing well, meaning well. No threat of "then else!" Even though the doctrine speak of consequences, but more in a logical and not in a threatening way.
What people make of it, however, is again a matter of which novels and films tell and which lasts in epic effect for centuries or millennia.
The collectivism you speak of is as prevalent here as anywhere else; meddling in intimate affairs is confused with "interest in well being". LOL
Hundred percent means for me that I can give answers and informations when asked. In this, I also can talk about my insecurities. I need not promote or speak up a mission without a mandate.
Sincere greetings to you :)