A bit of rant, but then again this is my personal blog and I kind of do what I feel like doing, right?
The motivation behind this is quite simple. It can be a bit frustrating, at least for me, to see people who only plan things. Now, to clarify, planning is fine, but not doing much afterwards makes everything pointless.
I should say that I know I'm not a doer all the time, maybe nobody is, but I do plunge into projects and don't allow myself to only dream. Is it easy? of course not, sometimes my back hurts, sometimes I sit on the computer to watch one video and turns out I've lost three hours of the day, but what matters in the end, is that I still feel the need to show up.
I can only describe it as self betrayal. Which is to say that if I don't finish things, if I leave the idea of let's say "I want to have a forge and learn how to do it" as just an idea; I won't like myself too much.
In the end, all of us will disappoint a ton of people in our lifetime, but disappointing myself has always been the most painful experiences, and thus I don't want to live them anymore.
What I refer to magical thinking is how usually people say things like: "I would love to learn guitar"; and never doing a single thing about this supposed want. If you want to learn, you just do it, you borrow a guitar, you load up some tutorials and you go, you put in the thousands of hours if you have to, but you do it, because you "want" to do it, that is what you said, right?
You see, when people say "want" or "we should" they usually mean: "it would be nice" and "wouldn't it be cool" or a variation of those. It's a mental trick to not feel guilty about self betrayal.
Ex.
I wanted to learn guitar, but I never found the time
This "trick" removes the guilt from my heart. All of the sudden it's not my fault I never learned guitar, but life, the universe, those around me, the worked together to make sure I could never learn the darn thing. ITS NOT MY FAULT!
What is going on?
In case you are wondering why I'm writing all this, know that I don't entirely know myself. I mean, I have some ideas, but I'm also writing this for me, so that when I'm feeling back pain, when I'm feeling like quitting a project, something that is just taking too long; I can kick my self in the ass for good measure.
Hopefully everyone is getting shit done these days too...
MenO
I really like what I do. I enjoy finding ways to use things unconventionally and meeting folks needs at far lower costs than they had expected. Within a stone's throw of me right now are 3 decks and a wheelchair ramp that I managed to provide the materials to build for free by scavenging it from other jobs. It makes me feel that I matter to my community, my friends and neighbors, and I like that more than just getting paid for my work. When folks have materials leftover they don't want, I find uses for them elsewhere in the community, and I've never made someone unhappy they didn't have to spend money for materials on a job they hired me to do.
I think it lets folks feel more connected and happy they have the neighbors they do when I let them know that Donna had these leftover 2x6's that she provided Corie to replace their rotten decking. It's not an Amish barn raising, but it's something good folks do for one another. The sense of purpose I get from thinking outside the box enables me to get up each day thinking I get to do what I do, instead of dreading going to work.
When we feel that way about work, it's easy to be productive.
Thanks!
Thank you for sharing that... Well, you are basically proving my point my friend. Also, I cant help but to smile reading this. Its amazing that you do this for your community.
I find myself like this too.. I want to do all these things but feel overwhelmed of where to start and then I end up not doing them.. the cycle keeps going. I just need to get to it and start doing something.