On days like you are describing, I write what I call "poemy things". I am not a poet or a writer but a person in pain that needs a distraction from said pain.
I can stay in bed and let the pain win, or I can roll out of bed and try to live...... Try being the keyword here...... Is being in front of a computer living? Somedays I would say yes. Somedays I would say no. BUT
BUT
just so we are clear ....... It's BUT not BUTT! cuz those are two very different meanings........and we are all about being clear here......... because you can not get the words out.......... yet you can because I felt every word you wrote in my soul. I have lived every word you wrote and will until the day I die.......
BUT!
It is how WE chose to deal with the pain 95% of the time that counts........ we all get a free 5% daily of getting to be pissed off at why this happened to me each day. I feel that is a fair compromise for what I have to live with daily.
The rest of the 95% is spent being grateful I can get out of bed and walk downstairs to my computer.
I spent 6 months of Hell in that bedroom, one year and could not leave the bed unless I had help.........
I played the crap out of Harvest Moon on a Nintendo 64........ It was mindless and perfect for what I needed then..... No thinking, just farm chores that would bore most people to death all day every day while in bed...... waiting for another surgery so maybe I could walk.
But that was before the Blockchain........... and here we can write whatever we want...... and it helps most times..... but as long as you are writing, you are not giving up, and THAT is what makes us human........ and gives us HOPE.
And Hope is all we need. Just a glimmer. a spark. and we can last ten more days.......
Hope is in your writing. You have it. Use it. in all the ways you can that day.