It's funny you say this one didn't work out the way you wanted, because this may be one of my favorite poems you've done. Maybe you didn't mean it to signify the labyrinthian nature of mundanity and lives tied curtly to cycles that circle down the, well, the drain. If that's not what you were going for, then darn, but the images are astounding in this piece. Just saying.
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Not to say that I don't appreciate how it developed and what it became, more so that my prewrite and outlines didn't quite translate into the poem I thought they would.
All said, this is a bit slice of life and a bit biography and a bit extended metaphor in exactly the way you said, and darn, I'm just glad you read and enjoyed my friend!