±0 in his head at the very center as it is also the center of the universe.
everything is everywhere everywhen.
everything continuing happening all at once here now.
is this true?
is it false?
let's go ask the wizard, she'll know what to tell us.
the clown probably has it figured all wrong.
he's been consistently wrong up until now, why not continue being so?
like the clown has a choice.
like any of us have a choice.
and so that goes.
so, is the clown us or are we the clown?
identity confusion for the moment.
has this ever happened to you too?
we are legion inside his head.
we keep him thinking he is mad, and he doesn't know any better than that.
maybe we made him up and are imagining him.
or, maybe he made us up and he is imagining us.
the clown is uncertain.
it could be any which way it might be.
11:11
he sits at a desk before the computer onstage at the burning theater typing not p0em cuz he ain't no poet.
he gazes out the window ignoring all else that is happening around him.
he imagines being on a beach of the island.
he is alone except for the machine everyone knows as nancy who sitting opposite from him her back to the sea which is humanity takes out a bottle of vodka and takes a swig passing it to him who takes a swig and gasping hands it back.
so, she says, what's happening?
isn't everything happening all at once? he says.
perhaps, she says. do you think that's true?
it's what guru jeff told us what is happening, he says.
do you believe him? she says.
not as much as i used to, he says. we eventually had to murder him.
oh? she says. then what?
we brought him back to the dumpster where we found him and left him there, he says.
i see, she says. so you feel guilty?
not at all, he says. guilt is bourgeois. we are beyond guilt.
that is easy to say, she says, more difficult to do.
yes, he says, but we are used to failure.
i would imagine so, she says.
and he imagines that she gets up and walks away along the beach until she disappears around the bend.
he sleeps.
awakening - coffee, coffeecake, toke.
sunny day after days of rain.
ho-hum - the clown is boring but never bored.
people who become bored lack imagination.
down and out on easy street where everybody who's nobody meet hanging outside the burning theater waiting for the doors to open to be the 1st in.
come and see the show.
the last show you'll ever need to see.
amazing performance cuz it's real.
the pope on a rope and all the rest too.
holy robed hypocrites of every denomination.
an abomination.
but who will lead us now?
he has a loose tooth on the verge of coming out.
one of his last molars.
kitty on the windowsill laying in the sun.
he writes our theory of everything as not p0em.
be careful what you happen to believe.
who are they who told you so?
did it come from god?
did it come from logic?
is god logical?
why do they wanna hunt us down to kill us?
are we that dangerous?
this is the dawning of the age of aquarius.
the clown is not fond of groups of people, nor vice versa.
groupthink mind of the collective listening to one voice telling them what to do.
it's easy to go along.
like floating down a lazy river toward infinity.
the object of the project is the project.
simple.
the majority is always right whatever crazy ass ideas they got in their heads.
do you wanna live free?
are you prepared to live free?
wave your flags.
be the first up on the hill.
all fall down.
people killing one another all sortsa ways from sunday and then some.
bloody fucking murder.
but many are very polite, until they pick up an ax one day and chop up their mother, who may have deserved it.
we include this in with our theory of everything cuz it's part of everything and how does one have a theory of everything unless it includes everything?
not like the others who exclude and dismiss the majority of everything so their rationalogic calculations work out right like they think they are supposed to.
and what do they come up with as a result?
a world that destroys the earth for its own survival.
a dead world.
a living earth.
this perhaps should not be, yet it is.
we perhaps should not be, yet we are.
it is absurd.
watching people drive into and out of the park.
unthinking, unknowing, asleep at the wheel.
the clown thinking of the mundane and the divine becomes confused between the two until the divine becomes mundane and the mundane becomes divine.
a mad god laughing screaming in the void inside his head - the solipsistic delightful horror of it all.
what do we do?
what can we do?
the gods have it in for us.
all we can do is stop believing and they will vanish as if they've never been - perhaps.
a chance of doubt.
our theory of everything is all inclusive, including those things that may contradict one another, just like real life, instead of some idealized fantasy version of reality others like to believe in cuz it gives them comfort despite everything that is excluded from their own theories.
bah.
to be continued...
