"Shut up!"
Meant two things
In my home:
Lower your volume
and
Be a better person.
Because if you were being loud,
then you were making dad angry,
and it wasn't that we cared particularly
about being curtious to dad,
But that when he was angry,
he was angry at each one of us.
And so, it hurt especially to hear it
so often.
If I loved them more,
I would remember.
Short and elegant. Loved it!
I think 'shut-up' might be better interpreted as I am feeling over-whelmed. The energy of children is great. To a parent who is feeling overwhelmed but life and worry it can seem almost violent and alas inspire it. I am sorry for the fear. you must have felt at times. Your write really touched me.