You got me speechless at ’joy's shadow’. Melancholia is a unique kind of sadness, one experienced only by those who see beyond the ordinary sorrow and misery that life brings. I got reminded of this one line my teacher told me once after reading this poem; ‘My mind often gets so flooded with happiness that it suffers a kind of meltdown and tips over into a state of numbness and melancholia.’ The way you put words together to create this piece was brilliant, and I truly believe that the glue that holds it all together and in place is your personal experience of melancholia. Thank you so much for sharing this piece!
PS: The state of melancholia is poetic and has a certain beauty to it that even happiness doesn’t have.
I wish to also share one of my poems which was inspired by an immense feeling of melancholia:
Mila's Law;
Sunder thoughts return with an undertone of selfhatred. Will it ever end, or is this an inevitable never ending rollercoaster of emotional mess? Am I the fleeing bastard, heartbroken and outcasted? Feels of melancholy silence come over me like the darkness of daylight; an inevitable blackness. I want to black out and curl up in her arms, forever. Asexual one night sits are forever stuck in my heart and soul. Arms of cut flesh remind me of the sudden rush of coldness. Sadly the coldness comes from your heart. Distanced hearts gravitate together; unrequited gravitation.