The worst nightmare or the best dream... It's up to you.
INTRODUCTION
Tom Wolfe once said, “The surest cure of vanity is the loneliness”.
This sentence was like a striking or a rude collision as well as a strange nightmare I was involved in.
Some years ago, I was thinking alone in somewhere but I saw some pieces of paper that exalted inside my mind. That event didn’t have any logical or sense to me. Then, I was scanning those pieces of papers, when a rhetorical question appeared. What was the meaning of that unexpected event? I have called that event unscrupulous shriek. And, the best friends of unscrupulous shriek were: shield, light and a lost kid.
What do you do when you are involved in an unknown ituation?
After that event, I also had to go somewhere to do a thing. The thing I had to do was significant; although cosmos had demonstrated to me a big lie implied and shield didn’t hide anymore. By contrast, I had found a big mirror when I captivatedly looked at inside it and I saw a smiling sun like a glow worm.
That scene made me remember what I used to do day after day. Every day, I had to choose between lots of things like colorful makeups, brilliant earrings, exotic collars and expensive mascara.
No matter all synchronizations I did, even if I destroyed myself slowly.
The destruction could damage a dim garden caused of twisted thorn.
Constantly, I wonder how shield felt. I was asking a sarcastic doubt. I was asking something about my background. And I was asking how this nightmare could appear. Unscrupulous shriek had submerged in a dark fountain when everyone felt very good with that synchronization; drugs and alcohol caused the same effect.
"Again and again, I testified how those people and unscrupulous shriek worked. I was trying to be like them. I was trying to think like them. And I was trying belonging to their world. I loved when they had moved their lips to say yes, "Yes" feed my ego. Unscrupulous shriek, shield and I felt so synchronized like the big one."
The light is close
I had looked at the mirror when I saw a girl that was me. I thought the girl was perfect; she was surrounding by all possible beauty.
Light acted as a person who didn’t know about everything. Light acted as a childish person, consequence of ignorance.
The situation had the same structure like an indecisive labyrinth, cowed without weaving. After I had been testifying all this terrible circumstance, my heart was declaring war to my eyes until my heart started to bleed as tomatoes against land. Then, I understood what the terrible circumstance was.
Shield and light became a hell my nightmare. Now, I have seen this situation. The damage occasioned about eating, dressing and behaving increased day per day. Then, I walked to that place to do that thing I had to figure out.
Carefully, I was scanning again these pieces of paper one by one when I found the third best friend who was a lost kid. The lost kid represented the darkness I was submerged. That was a part of me hiding in a dark closet. Well, the lost kid saw my eyes and he gave me a little box.
What is that sound?
Sometimes, I opened the little box, and I closed it when I heard a crucial sound like creaking in these rotten floors reflection of dead itself. I was also afraid of knowing what the meaning was.
When I had my guts, I opened this small box. Surprisingly, I saw a small light at the end.
Eventually, I noticed that the lost kid had appeared again, but that small light spoke by itself:
Shut up unscrupulous shriek!
Your screams have been shaking my sensible ears like mute midnight that desperate the cold lodged corpse in a distant winter!
I went out to that place where I exclaimed so worried:
Oh, cruel loneliness! Ask shell who I am! I spread my shield to cast into oblivion of my entrails! Among twilights, my tears were looking out stupidity inside stupidity! Those rhetorical words in my childhood’s shoulders were answers to my late maturity!
After that unexpected exclamation, I went out to that place. I was walking through dark streets almost one hour when I saw a restaurant and I got inside. In addition, I sat near a white window with long curtains. I could think of unscrupulous shriek, momentarily.
All what I'm afraid of...
Moreover, I ordered a succulent chocolate cake. The chocolate tasted like the sweetest fruit juice drink, pieces of strawberry and pieces of white chocolate were there. I had been joining my food when I saw something which reflected through the window, I saw zombies everywhere.
These images left me without a word and I stopped eating. I saw the true zombies who walked absent of life. This event was a representation of a submerged depth in an endless world.
At the beginning, my eyes dilated but I started to laugh alone at the mall. I finally understood my shield, light and lost kid. They opened their being to be themselves. People usually hid their being and nothing feeds it. Thus, I had to confess I saw something else when I saw the true zombies, I called misery.
My misery or my virtue.
These miseries have been controlling a lot of people for long time. Misery has said to them how to be. Misery has said to them how to think. And Misery has said to them how to behave. These mad energies stole from people all possible being like parasites inside human beings.
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nice nightmare!
thank you very much!