I have always appreciated your willingness to honestly express yourself through your writing...never feels contrived / pretentious. I am envious of the way you can paint such vivid pictures with your words.
As for the question you pose in your poem, for me personally, I was numb for so many years and it did feel like a form of walking death. I now choose to feel...all of it. I've learned so much finding a way to put those feelings where they belong and am thankful for that...all of it.