Day 1 - Message in a bottle

[skodie]

Message in a bottle
The winds slam against the ship
Sea roars drowning out the captain
The sun turns away in disgust

Message in a bottle
Dark clouds stretch themselves
A great yawn, my ears deafened
Flashes, someone is taking pictures

Source

Message in a bottle
No one hears the captain
Everyone at their best doing the unsaid
With only one goal in mind: survive

Message in a bottle
Kapitän, there be a sea monster
Someone screams; another,
Kapitän, save us. What be your commands?

Message in a bottle
Man your posts you ingrates!
This be the test of our will
Let the sea do it's worst; we shall prevail

Message in a bottle
The storm takes up the challenge
Water leaps on board engulfing many
Leaving chills in its stead

Source
Message in a bottle
The crew holds steady
But the ship begins to accept defeat
Pieces of wood begin to fly

Message in a bottle
The captain realises imminent doom
To document this voyage though short
A journal, ink, paper, a bottle, all on the table

Source

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Comments

[nigtroy]

Great poem, brings memories of so many pirate movies in mind.

[skodie]

Thanks for reading and commenting. When I hear Carribbean, first thing that leaps to mind is Pirates of the Carribbean. I know the feeling

[tygertyger]

Excellent piece :)
My favorite part >

Message in a bottle
Man your posts you ingrates!
This be the test of our will
Let the sea do it's worst; we shall prevail

Arrrrr we be pirates ;)

[skodie]

Thank you. Seems you have offered a missing line 😁

[tygertyger]

😉

[icequeenlove]

Your style of writing is unique keep it up.. and ill be looking forward to reading more from you buddy @skodie

[skodie]

Glad to be writing. I've got at least 92 more poems

[quillfire]

@skodie,

Interesting poem. The repeating, "Message in a Bottle," was an interesting plot device. I love poems that tell a story.

[skodie]

Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for commenting

[acousticsteveo]

I like the way you repeated Message in a Bottle. It made it stand out in my mind as something concrete. So that way at the end when we find out the story is a message in a bottle it was already in my mind. Great job. Also I like the humor in this poem.

[skodie]

Thanks. Appreciate it. With a beginning and end already revealed, it's the journey that counts.

[d-pend]

I really enjoyed this @skodie. Great use of repetition here and I was loving the dialogue of the captain and the crew. You're a strong writer.

Going to place you into the Intermediate category, for now, but don't be surprised if you move up :-D

[skodie]

Thanks a lot. I always knew my writing was good but never thought it was this good. Thanks for the read and the comment