Oh Greta, my Greta, teenage climate hero,
on a UN campaign to bring carbon emissions to zero.
Your autistic speech is all over the news,
with the same message no matter which source you choose.
How dare we! How dare we!
Use dirty and filthy fossil fuel energy
to lift billions worldwide out of extreme poverty.
Don't you know that the life of an endangered pheasant
matters more than that of an Indian peasant.
We must all sacrifice now for hypothetical humans in the future.
If even your own mother's a denier you might have to shoot her.
The final solution is obvious. Can't you see?
It was scientifically laid out by economic genius, AOC.
The Green New Deal! Green New Deal!
Our planet will heal!
With social justice, racial and gender equity.
You’re a poor white male? Oh, what a pity.
You may wonder what race has to do with climate?
Well, if there's a connection, no matter how convoluted, we shall find it.
Thank you for your time. I will now answer any questions.
"Your climate predictions of doom from the past have not panned out."
How dare you!
"You can't just answer my objection with a simple shout."
How dare you!
"What about nuclear power?"
How dare you!
"It's clean, cheap, and safe now."
How dare you! How dare you! How dare you!
"But nuclear would solve every climate problem."
How dare you!
"Oh, I get it, you don't really want to solve them."
How dare you!
"This isn't about the ecological issues."
How... How dare you...
"Are you crying? Is that supposed to change my mind? Here… Take a box of tissues."
How... dare... you...
"You don't want nuclear power, no matter how efficient."
How dare you!
"Because no amount of political power to you will ever be sufficient."
How dare you!
How dare we!
How dare... me.