I hear ya. My father was, in effect, euthanized in a hospital in California simply because they didn't want to deal with his illness, Clostridium Difficile Colitis, which is curable, but nonetheless, curable. While he was in a medically induced comatic state (morphine, and more and more morphine), they simply stopped feeding him and giving him fluids. That's how they killed him, murdered him.
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I'm sorry to hear that. It's terrible. The only way I can make sense of these things is that they happened for us to learn from or to wake us up. But, that's not so easy to see or feel in the beginning after the tragedy happens.