Ephesians 5 verse 22-31.
Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
Take your time to read that long text as I will bring out few points from the long text. Verse 22-25, Apostle Paul speaking, He emphasized on wives submitting to their own husbands and husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church. The hidden mystery of marriage is clearly shown in Ephesians 22-33, how? The mystery of marriage on earth is a symbol of the marriage in heaven (Christ and Church). If we properly want to understand this mystery, and then let’s study what Apostle Paul was trying to explain.
The church is subject to Christ, the church being the wife and Christ being the husband. I hope we understand that?
Let’s look critically at verse 25; Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. I love the message version, husbands; go all out in your love for your wives exactly as Christ did for the church. A love marked by giving, not getting.
In two becoming one; there must be love and submission, how can we attain this? Think about this illustration.
Take two bowls of the same size, put it beside each other. Bowl 1 represents male, bowl 2 represents female. This exactly is how marriage is, we are two different entities to become one, try place bowl 1 over bowl 2, remember if they are of the same size, it will fit into each other and the two bowls will become one. Check Ecclesiastes. 4:12
How Did Christ further unveils this mystery, let’s check verse 26 (message)
Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, remember Christ is the husband and church the wife?
Christ’s effort in making church becoming one with Him, He used love and Word to evoke her beauty, another version says sanctifies and cleanse with water and by the Word, I want to take Love and Word. Love gives, you love without expecting anything in return, listen men, and guys listen. In the process of becoming one with your wife, it is important that you know love and word will shape her.
Your unending personal love for her, word simply means communication. How well do you communicate with her? It is your responsibility to cover her fears and anxiety. When your communicate, you listen. Whenever you don’t pay attention to what others have to say then you don’t value them.
Listening builds relationships instead of talking. Listening increases knowledge. When you consistently listen to others, you will never suffer for ideas. You have better idea of your partner, when you develop the idea of listening. When we pray, God listens.
What are the common barriers to listening your partner?
- Overvaluing talking. Don’t overvalue talking but listen more.
- ExperiencingFatique-Developmoreenergy,concentrateandstayfocused.
- Carrying Emotional baggage
- Being preoccupied with self.
How to develop listening skills
Look at the speaker. Set aside the time to focus only on the other person. And if you don’t have the time at the moment then schedule it as soon as you can.
Don’t interrupt. It’s just rude to step on people’s ideas as it is to step on their toes. Period of silence gives you a chance to reflect on what’s been said so that you can respond appropriately.
Focus on Understanding. Effective listening requires more than hearing the words-transmitted. It demands that you find meaning and understanding what is being said.
To increase your understanding of others as you listen, follow the guidelines below.
Listen with a head-heart connection.
Listen with intent of understanding.
Listen for the message and the message behind the message.
Listen for both content and feelings.
Listen with your eyes-your hearing will be improved.
Listen for what they are saying and not saying.
Listen with empathy and acceptance.
Listen for the areas where they are afraid and hurt.
Listen as you would like to be listened to.
Determine the need at the moment. Anytime you can determine the current need of the people you’re communication with, you can put whatever they are saying into the appropriate context and you will be better able to understand them.
Check your Emotions. Don’t carry emotional baggage that causes people to react anyhow anytime that you become highly emotional when listening to another person, check your emotions-especially if your reaction seems stronger than the situation warrants.
Suspend your Judgment. As you talk to others, want to hear the whole story before you respond.
Sum up major intervals. Comment on what you hear and individualize your comments.
Ask for clarity. If you want to become an effective listener, become a good reporter.
Now that we have mastered the act of using love and word to shape our partner into perfect shape through communication and listening,
Then in verse 27, we can see how Christ presents the church (bride) to himself, it is clearly shown here that Christ shaped, cleanse his wife (church) into what fits Him.
Husbands listen you have the responsibility to shape your wife into what fits you. To achieve that you have to love, nourish and cherish her. It is important that a man has a lot of work in the process of two becoming one. The apex of marriage is two becoming one and to understand this
mystery, we must study Christ and the Church as proper
justice was done to it. The church was not perfect, Christ shaped it. Your wife doesn’t have to be perfect. You have to shape her. Stop comparing, complaining, tell her what to do, if she doesn’t know how to dress, buy dress for her, if she is too fat for your liking, take her to gym. You have responsibility to shape your wife so that she can fit into you.
Excepts from the book : BECOMING ONE BY JOSEPH OLOWOOKERE shaped it. Your wife doesn’t have to be perfect. You have to shape her. Stop comparing, complaining, tell her what to do, if she doesn’t know how to dress, buy dress for her, if she is too fat for your liking, take her to gym. You have responsibility to shape your wife so that she can fit into you.
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STOPSome people think been submissive is the same thing as been a slave..