Mother-in-laws can be terrible, I would not recommend anyone to live together with them unless they have worked a lot on their inner peace and wounds. The past is past indeed, sometimes we can ruin a good thing if we cling to the past. I guess it is about healing after all, once you heal you let go of the past
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I lived with mine for 20 years, we had major ups and downs, and her behavior has made me the person I am today. I had to do tremendous self work to withstand those pressures and stay calm. In a way I can only say, she was blessing in disguise, because if not for her behavior I would have never thought about doing healing work or have been so strong towards life as I am now. I feel I am so well prepared by her, that I can withstand any storm of life with ease now.
What I believe is that people who are the hardest in our lifetimes are the closest at our soul level and we make agreements with them to grow spiritually.
A difficult person will always be a great teacher for our egos. We can learn so many things if we ask ourselves: why did I attract this person in my life? What should I learn from this situation? This attitude avoids blame and promotes understanding.