Something that has been weighing on my mind recently is our nervous programming, and the things we're consciously doing (as well as the things we're not). A couple of months ago, I was riding an electric scooter home one night, when I got in a sort of accident.
Long story short, I didn't get off the scooter while crossing the street, a car turned the corner, and caused me to panic. I wasn't sure whether the driver would stop, so I wasn't sure what I should do, in turn. Part of me wanted to stop, part of me tried to go forward when the car stopped, and since I was going pretty fast, I fell off, spraining my ankle. Obviously, a huge relief considering that I fell mere inches from the car's front.
I managed to get up on my own, and after an initial scare, I found my wound was quite tame, all things considered, in spite of the bruising, and swelling.
Fast-forward a couple of months later to today, and I'm constantly amazed by the memory contained in my left ankle. I'm quite well now. I walk a fair bit, and I work out almost daily. I try not to run, or jump, and avoid any type of heel, but it's going pretty well, I think.
The only trouble is, my ankle's got a serious case of PTSD. Give you an example, someone mentioned bicycles in my marketing class today, and immediately I got this unpleasant jolt through my leg. Like uh-huh, bitch.
The same happens when I'm working out, and the instructor encourages us to use ankle weights, if possible. Obviously, I wouldn't put that kind of pressure on my ankle in the first place, but more to it, my ankle is actively repulsed by the mere thought.
I don't even have to maybe consider it. It's enough for me to hear it mentioned, and poof, my ankle goes up in flames.
Same goes when I think about running (which I used to do) for exercise, or wearing high (or even moderate) heels. Shopping for shoes is a pain, since my ankle's grossed out by 90% of the ones I see, even if they might not actually be as bad as I imagine.
And I wonder, why is this happening, and what is it called? I don't even know the words to look it up, and understand why my body is reacting in this way, although I suspect the effect is more psychological, than actually physical. While my ankle is still weak, it's not so weak to be bothered by a small heel, I would imagine, or by a cycling movement.
I think my brain's reacting to the idea of motion (in the case of bicycles) or pressure on my ankle, as a potential trigger. I think there's still a strong current of fear going on subconsciously, somewhere. For instance, I automatically feel safer and more comfortable when wearing an ankle support than when I'm not, even if I wouldn't actively suffer if I didn't wear it. So I'm guessing these jolts spring from a psychological side, rather than an actual pain and damage side.
So coming back to what I was saying earlier, does my ankle have PTSD, or do I?*
*As my followers will know, I'm using this for dramatic flow. I'm not a big fan of the overly easy self-diagnosing going on in our present world, where everyone suffers from one mental issue or another.
This book directly addresses this topic, but it reads like a technical manual.
If you want to do a proper study of the technology, read it first, but if you are only going to read one, read this one, it is more an owner's manual for your mind.
It also directly addresses this topic.
That is so cool. Thank you, I've actually never read any of his work, but have saved both books, as I really want to understand this :)