Hey, Abbi! This post of yours seems to be related to the previous one - leaving the past behind :) We are always accompanied by our past experiences, people we have met, the feelings we have encountered. When we communicate with others we all have this invisible BUT powerful "world" of past experience interfering in our communication. Being in the present and truly listen to the others (and yourself) seems to be extremely difficult.
I am trained to actively listen to people I don't quite know and it is going OK. But when I need to listen to people that are close to me and feelings are involved - Oh, Gosh! It gets so difficult! I get confused - are the ghosts from the past talking or the person next to me?! Usually, I need a pause to think a little bit and to analyze the situation - did she/he said that or it was my past experiences/fears/feelings talking so loudly?
Taking a pause sounds like a wise thing to do, but it has a huge downside - an argument could continue forever :D
Thanks for the nice piece for reading!
Cheers!
Hello @insight-out 😊
I suppose that is why it is important for us to make peace with our past events. So then they can shush and allow clear thinking to take place in our minds, in the present moment. It is indeed difficult. I think this is one factor that weighs heavily in arguments that last forever, issues that are resistant to being solved. They just become underlying problems that cloud our thoughts :/
It is nice to see you around :)
Take care & thank you for taking the time to leave me this wonderful comment.