Heh. That's a great question. I think I called it "man-pleasing" because that's how it was taught to me within the religious framework I was in. To please "man" was to not please "God", etc, etc. That framework also has some built in patriarchy, so your comments are valid there as well regarding man vs. woman.
It sounds like you're going through some exposure therapy. You're going to love this: http://ncase.me/neurons/
Check it out. :)