Thank you dear Abi for another wonderful article of yours!
Unfortunately, my view of the world regarding this matter can be described with the following quote:
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.
Stephen R. Covey
I think is what we have today is too much talking, but almost no or not enough communication. Many people aren't even aware of the difference between the two.
Of course, I can say that during my life I've met very few individuals with whom I managed to establish communication, but in general it is extremely rare.
Although I have absolutely zero knowledge in psychology, I can assume the reason for that are our own insecurities and deceptions we prefer living in, afraid that any solid argument about some matter, or different opinon on something will make our safe bubble burst and we'll remain exposed to something unknown, which we'll have to deal with. And that's just so damn hard for most of the people.
I would of course like very much to hear your opinion about this, as someone who knows much more psychology than I do :)
Lots of love to you! ❤ ❤ ❤
Hello beautiful @sicenceangel :)
What an extraordinary quote by S. Covey. Thank you for sharing it here with us. It says it all!
Your comment is a very truthful one, and while I believe this is the case for most people
because they don't listen they don't realize this. For example, Jamie Pen-nebaker (a psychologist) carried out a very simple, but incredibly insightful experiment with 300 of his students, who were assigned to small groups and were told they could talk about anything they wanted, for 15 minutes. After that they went back to their seats and reported on the following: how much they talked, how much they liked the group, and how much they learnt from the others.The findings revealed the most incredible thing:
The people who reported liking their respective groups the most, were the ones that happened to have talked for longer. Not only that, they were the ones who also claimed to have learnt from the other peers the most 😅 ref. Incredible!
As for the explanation you offered (as to why this happens) our insecurities definitely play a huge part in deafening us. It was Carl Rogers who said that one of the most important things to have in order to put empathic listening in action is courage, because when we set ourselves to listen to others in this manner (empathically) we might change as a result, and change is something we are not always prepared to face. So, we keep on clinging to our assumptions and opinions to feel safe and protected.
Much, much love to you always.
Thank you very much for taking the time to discuss this with us here today my dear.
You take care :*
❤
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Hey @scienceangel
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