Psychology Talk Series # 15: Why Are Some People So Damn Talkative?

in #psychology3 years ago


You're sitting in a meeting and all of a sudden this talkative friend of yours starts to tell you about how their weekend was ruined by the weather. You try to be polite by giving minimal reactions while trying to stay focused on the meeting which somehow still leads her on to saying more stuff about that damn weekend you don't even care about. The next thing you know, you've lost all your energy dealing with that multitasking you didn't really sign up for and this friend is still talking energetically as if her now ranting about her broken nail amuses you as much....

Yes, talkative people could be a pain in the ass like that. I'd know, because I'm kind of one of them....

An Oral Fixation

Sigmund Freud would definitely classify this case of being talkative under oral fixation. This is the first stage in his proposed psychosexual development which is experienced during the child's first 18 months of life. Obviously, this has something to do with the child's relationship with the breasts of their mother--do they bite the nipple when they are breastfed or not? Do they obsess on the nipples/eating or not?

According to Freud, the child's habit when it comes to being breastfed has something to do with the child's latter mannerisms or attitude that both may or may not directly involve the mouth. For example, being a chainsmoker and an over-eater implies a person's fixation on the nipples when they were still in the said oral stage just how being talkative is associated with that issue.

To be honest, I stopped drinking from those milk bottles when I was six years old, so I would say Freud's right--I'm a chainsmoker, I don't over-eat but I have this thing for chewing gum, and I am talkative (not as annoyingly talkative as how I put being talkative in my intro though). I guess my relationship with sucking wasn't disciplined as well as it should've been.

But Being Talkative..

Being talkative is not always bad. As a matter of fact, without talkative people, we all know how first meetings are just going to end up being too dull. I would know, because aside from being the usual icebreaker, I still meet people who out-talk me. They would usually start by asking where you're from and in just a matter of 2 minutes, you'd find yourself already listening to their rants about their messed up family relationships. It could be irritating for many, but these are the people who unexpectedly become a significant part of your life.

I remember, once I had a conversation with this cool 21-year-old mom who was also waiting for this job interview I just randomly applied for. She was very talkative and she definitely made me feel like my being talkative was just a merely unusual form of silence. She was constantly ranting about the scorching hot weather at first but as we went on to talking, or as I went on to listening to her out of politeness, we ended up talking about monogamy's complicated nature. Then from there, she had begun to express how she enjoyed being a mother, her love for her son, and the postpartum depression that comes with both of those things and plenty more wonderful things about her life.

That conversation would have been just another annoying rant for many, but perhaps as a talkative person myself or at least as that person who loves meeting new people and hearing wonderful personal stories, I found her inspiring. I did not pursue the job but she did, yet we still keep in touch because as I told you, talkative people could always be valuable characters in one's life.

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