Even though my father was a polar opposite, this topic is very interesting to me as a woman, living in a world that is increasingly regressing to a more hostile attitude towards us...
The harsh judgement he had toward you is the same judgement he has for himself. A person who struggles with self acknowledgement has hard time acknowledging others.
But it's hard to fully blame him alone, when he is also a product of his time - a product of the system that makes men this way. With gender-roles that had a more militant standards for what it is to be 'a man'. And it's definitely making a comeback with the 'manosphere'...
It also has become apparent to me that these "strong men" often need a scapegoat (women, immigrants, etc.) to blame for their problems on it, and they need a whole group of people to have less rights for them to feel strong. It's coming from a place of weakness and fear.
They also use religious rhetoric, to justify their cruelty, because at the end of the day, they can't even think for themselves - These "strong men" need a father figure that is even more cruel (as you've mentioned).
I'm glad that you are someone who was able to endure this kind of childhood and come out on the other side as a better person - with a lot more empathy, and egalitarian principles.
I thought Lindsay Ellis had a good video on the thorny topic of toxic masculinity, but either it's not on Youtube or she removed/delisted it. At any rate, like many concepts misused by the ideologues of the left and right, there is a good idea buried under the hype and rhetoric. Part of our generation's job is to separate healthy femininity and masculinity from the distortions of past generations.