Avoid arguments and shouting

in #reflection6 years ago

It is inevitable to have disagreements, or differences of opinion in a family, especially when it is just being formed. After all, they are two people from different worlds, which go together to form a unit. What we must remember is that in order to better carry out our family relationships we must not allow these differences to disturb peace in the home.

Among these disagreements, sometimes we make many mistakes, like altering ourselves, keeping some resentment or, in the worst case, shouting. When remembering some misunderstandings with my husband, I remember that we promised never to raise our voices, since at some time in a talk we received, we were told that the only reason we can shout is if the house burns down, to alert us of the emergency. If our loved one moves away and we want to say goodbye to the distance, we raise our voice so that he / she listens to us; Maybe we'll shout if we see that someone is in danger and we want to alert him. But I wonder why we sometimes shout when we argue, if we know that the distance with the other person is only a few steps, we are in the same environment and maybe our partner or children are just inches from our face. Searching the Internet I found a story that as an answer, I found interesting to reflect:

This story says that one day a wise Tibetan old man asked his followers the following: "Why do people shout when they are angry?" The men thought for a moment. "Because we lose our cool," said one. "That's why we scream."

"But why scream when the other person is by your side?" The sage asked. "Is not it possible to talk to him in a low voice? Why do you yell at a person when you're angry? "The men gave some other answers, but none of them satisfied the wise man.

Finally, he explained: "When two people are angry, their hearts get very far away. To cover that distance they must shout, in order to be heard. The more angry they are, the stronger they will have to shout to listen to each other through that great distance. " Then the wise man asked: "What happens when two people fall in love? They do not shout, they speak softly. Why? Because their hearts are so close. The distance between them is very small". The sage continued, "When you fall in love even more, what happens? They do not talk, they just whisper and become even closer in their love. Finally they do not even need to whisper, they just look at each other and that's enough. That's how close two people are when they love each other. " Then he said: "When you argue, do not let your hearts go away, do not say words that distance you more, there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will no longer find your way back."