How to maintain, control, and sustain relationships. TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LOVE LIFE!!!

in #relationships7 years ago (edited)


All of us know that establishing and keeping relationships are vital in any persons journey through life, but how we go about these interactions can determine whether or not that person/relationship is sustainable. Now throughout my entire life I have been in and out of relationships, short ones, long ones, big ones, and small ones. One thing I have come to realize that a relationship should never be a priority, all non-toxic relationships should be natural and pure. We often tend to try to force things that are not meant to be instead of just going with the flow of life. There is much more to relationships that meets the human eye and because people fail to conceptualize what a healthy relationship is, they fail to maintain one. Relationships are like a flowers in a garden, they need attention from multiple aspects of life to grow. Like flowers need sun, water, soil, and attention, relationships are the same way in structure, meaning they are multifaceted.


The best experience one can offer to a healthy relationship is for one to actually gain an understanding of themselves, but not only gain an understanding of themselves but actually accept and love themselves for who they are flaws and all. How can you expect to build a relationship with someone else when you cannot even sustain a relationship with yourself? The sooner you begin to love yourself for who you are the more people will attract to you. You see anytime a relationship is considered unhealthy or toxic, people are always complaining about what their partner does not do, or they are expressing how much they hate how their partner behaves. They focus on the negative all the qualities and downplay the good so much that it consumes their entire thought process relationship wise. You just want your partner to do what you say and act the way you do, but guess what? THEY ARE NOT YOU! Too often we tend to try to change our partner and try to make them an exact replica of who we want them to be. This is a major problem in most relationships, rather than building that individual and making them into the best them they can be, many people are focused on control rather than enhancement
Another great resource for building healthy relationships is taking responsibility for your actions and owning your emotions. Because relationships require a great amount of emotional investment, it is easy to become confused within your emotions and whether or not you are making the right decision. In most cases every situation in a relationship can be controlled by how you respond to that given situation. In my personal journey I have come to realize that some situations only have power if you give them power, and many negative aspects of a relationship can be boiled down changing your mindset and beliefs because this is were most of your emotions live within. For example before i changed my mindset I was very egotistical person, so far that I would let my emotions control my actions and my actions began to control my relationship. You must trust and surrender to the universe and this will attract your perfect soulmate. I have thought of myself as trying to let go of what no longer serves me, and by doing this I have also let go of the idea of what I thought myself to be and have started living for who i actually am. As i stated before we attract what we are, and by living for whom you actually are will naturally generate people whom praise and celebrate you.
My final bit of advice would be to become authentic, live freely, and trust that being your true self will attract positive live forces. Nothing is guaranteed to you in this life so let go of all expectations and live life according to how you want to live. Becoming authentic requires you be who the universe truly meant you to be, and this might call for your to break a few norms and step outside your comfort zone. This will allow you to let new possibilities enter your life and you will experience more authentic relationships. All authentic relationships form because your energy has attracted that certain person, and when you are with someone you really love you shouldn't have to act you should just be. At the end of the day relationships are optional, and because you have chose to be with this person you should never be unhappy because this is your choice.
Leaving this old lifestyle in the past and gaining a better sense of self by creating a new mindset will set you free. By doing this you will generally attract those whom are meant to be in your life. Being authentic may be difficult because of how society is set up, but for once i challenge you to think out of the box, and I challenge you to love everything about yourself. The love of self requires approval from no one else and the sooner you begin to live this lifestyle the faster you will begin to succeed.
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Dam Chaz there you go you understand now just post away bro !! tell your dad to hit me up this week , it's Tobin :)

Nice read. Thanks for this article

Authenticity is definitely the idea. Im quite Jungian in my approach, as I feel that dealing with ones shadow is key in developing authenticity. But as you touched on, it is tough in this society. It is extremely anti-self. The lights are everywhere, pulling us, making us feel as if its all out there, and we never discover our own flame inside.

In other news, wow, $189 in 15 minutes, and you only have 16 followers. Good shit.

Yeah right!? That was from 12 votes... Amazing this new voting system

Very well written! Totally agree with what you are saying as well. Taking responsibility for your life and loving yourself translates into loving others.

A sense of purpose and not making it about yourself all the time (but moving towards being selfless) also can be a huge paradigm shift.

On top of that it's important to embrace reality, see it for what it is and going with a mindset where you try to do what you think is right at all times and being present while doing so.

Being in flow makes you look past the fears of losing someone and will allow you to truly love people and not just trying to control them.

Love Wins Everyday my friend. Thank you for this, the more articles like this explaining the power of love and its influence can be so impactful to people. Looking forward to more content from you :)

Great advice. Agree with your opinion.

Totally agree with you. The alternative goes to this: https://steemit.com/life/@hebro/divorce-after-10-years

Confidence, challenge, control.

This is so true! People always try to please others whenever they should focus on themselves first. Being confident in yourself is the first step to making the most out of your life. If you're confident in yourself and respect yourself, other people will do the same. If you focus on your goals and what you want in life, the rest will come. Love and relationships are definitely important but they will crumble if they don't have a strong foundation. Make sure you have everything set in your life, then when you find that right person, it will all fall into place :)