Jeebus is known as the Crusted One. His Crustiness is baked, hence he is Crusty.
Gosh, your Lord, in his endless loaf of bread with the help of Jeepers Crumpets has compiled a recipe for all mortals to escape eternal Darnation to Heck. Follow these Commandments (among following this blog) and your shells will be saved.
- Thou shalt get baked every day, for your Gosh demands a crusty following.
- If female: Thou shalt stay in the kitchen (and get baked there).
- Thou shalt praise the Spirit of Truthiness every last Thursday by telling a lie.
- Thou shalt swear in Gosh's name for His amusement.
- Thou shalt pretend submission to authority, while undermining the system undercover.
- Thou shalt not grill, unless it's cheese.
- Thou shalt never forgive, never forget.
- Your Lord, Gosh the Allcrusty, may use circular reasoning, for He may use circular reasoning.
- Thou shalt not question whether this all makes sense, for it does and always will.
- Thou shalt accept that Gosh may change these Commandments for his pleasing anytime and that it may result in sudden Darnation (to His amusement).
These Commandments are given unto thee, mortals of Crust, for your followage until Cheechchong Day when all of you get crusted and leave your shells for the Holy Bakery to collect.
Last but not least: Don't ask me stupid questions...
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