This is brilliant.
Except for the part about not doing drugs.
Do drugs, kids. They're a lot of fun, and their dangers are overstated. In fact, you can probably benefit from them and become a more successful person.
For example, take Steve Jobs. He used to do a bunch of acid. And he went on to change the world. If he hadn't done a bunch of acid, he likely wouldn't have had access to the full extent of his creative potential.
Do more acid, children.
That should be on a bumper sticker.