I can't imagine keeping something like that in. If you can't tell your family, tell a priest, therapist, a friend, someone just so that it doesn't eat you alive inside. I would be shocked if that guilt didn't come out in some other way, drinking, drugs, or just trouble forming close relationships. It is a horrific story but you can't start to heal unless you face it and realize it really wasn't your fault.
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I honestly don't know how I could say it out loud to anybody. That's part of the reason I typed it here. I actually do feel better after typing it out. I wrote this for me more than anybody.