Bringing back shame

in #shame6 years ago (edited)

I distinctly remember a sociology class I took in college which required some extensive reading by a myriad of authors. One of these authors contends that violence is brought on by shame. He was specifically referring to young black men, but I think his point could and should be extrapolated to everyone (after all, we're all human).

I don't think that shame necessarily begets violence, but I understand how it may be a precursor feeling. That said, I think we need to bring shame back.

[Justin 

##Living off taxpayer money

I know some who have needed assistance from time to time. I even wondered if I would need unemployment benefits or something similar after losing my job. There's nothing wrong with a little short-term help (even though it should be contributed to by choice, not force). I think that having some means of helping others over the hump of a difficult time is a good thing.

That said, there are far too many taking advantage of a program like food stamps. Certainly there are a number of reasons why, but one seems to be that there's no shame in it anymore. I remember when people would hide the fact they they use food stamps (now EBT). Now it's not uncommon to see people buy $100 of beer with cash, and then buy groceries with EBT. Where there was shame, now there is pride, and it's done right in front of the very people paying the taxes to cover those transactions.

If shame still existed, I think this would happen less often. Nobody likes having judgemental eyes cast upon them. It's why most of us put effort into our appearance, even for a trip to Wal-Mart. Well, it's why we used to as a society.

## Your animal

I get it: people like their animals. I don't mind most animals myself, with the exception of those I'm allergic to. Even then, I find it hard to resist scratching a dog or a cat where they like it. But let's get one thing clear: they are in fact animals. They are not actually your family. They are not actually your children. They do not have the same rights and privileges as humans. People from ess prosperous countries find it confusing that Fido sleeps on your bed and not on the floor.

Most of all, your pet does **not** belong in the grocery store ever.

This isn't about genuine, ADA-recognized service animals. This is about your lap-dog riding in a cart or being carried. This is about dogs that crap on airplanes or maul young children. This is about your untrained animal that serves no actual  purpose to you.

## Mental illness

...is best treated with cognitive behavioral therapy. Not pets. Your pet is a bandaid, but CBT is an actual cure. It gives you the tools to use your brain to overcome irrational thinking. Something external to your brain is usually just that. This doesn't account for psychotic symptoms or something such as schizophrenia, but it does account for anxiety and depression.

##Rules

If the park says "no animals", then just follow the rule. I want freedom too, but getting the rule changed is better than breaking it.

And just be respectful.

## Children have nothing to do with it

The #1 thing I hear from these pet owners are complaints about people's children "being worse" than the dogs. This is a really stupid complaint. Besides, we'll get to shaming parents as soon as this fake service animal thing is solved. I can't tell you how many times I've had to tell my wife's friend's children to use their indoor voice at a restaurant. Responsible parenting is important and sometimes hard. It still doesn't change the fact that children are humans who are allowed in grocery stores, and dogs are neither of those things.

## It's not a service animal

Stop making life harder on people who have genuine disabilities. Some of them already have to deal with this ridiculous straw ban. They don't need you making harder for them to have a genuine service dog.

## So start shaming

Grocers don't want to say anything for fear of being sued. But you can say whatever you want. What's the worst that's going to happen? Someone might curse at you? Shame these people. Make some noise. Talk about it. And also call the Department of Agriculture about grocery stores in your area that are allowing this. Bring shame back. Bring order and decency back.