SHITPOST YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS πŸ’© Steemit Satire Series β€’ Lesson No. 04 β€’ How to get votes by shit commenting

in #shitposting β€’ 6 years ago (edited)

Welcome back to Shitpost Your Way to Success, a reader-provoked satire series exclusively on Steemit


A ridiculously, satire-saturated, all-original Steemit-Exclusive series that was encouraged by my fellow Steemians. A special thanks to @jackmiller for the many wonderful chats that we've had which have greatly inspired this series. I want to also give special acknowledgment to @donald.porter for reading ahead of the class and commenting on the last lesson:

ALSO IN RECENT NEWS: THE SHITPOST TO SUCCESS SERIES NOW HAS A THEME TUNE!!! BIG THANKS TO @STEEVC!!


be sure to check out @steevc's blog and show him some love on his recent posts

LESSON No.04 WILL BE A SPECIAL ONE...

HOW TO

EARN VOTES & AWARDS FOR SHIT-COMMENTING


That's right! You can really get votes for leaving total shit-comments that you copy/paste right into every Steemit post. If that sounds too good to be true - remember that I said votes and awards...

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Leaving totally mindless comments will get you votes, but in the wrong direction most of the time


Now, I know what you're thinking; you are doing pretty well on Steemit, starting at rep 25 and going to 0, but I swear there's an easier way. Use your brain or at least prove you have one at the very least. That is how you attain votes on Steemit that will help you grow.

Leaving meaningful and relevant comments on posts is a great way to engage with fellow content creators on Steemit, but whatever you do don't vote on the crap you comment on because we would not want to waste that precious click before pasting our shitcomment in the box and mashing reply. I mean who has time to click a button these days? Pffffff

I feel that not enough shit commenters of Steemit get the real recognition they truly deserve


It is really hard work to paste a worthless comment 8,254 times per day, so let's recognize these users for their hard work! That's something we have yet to do, so, by all means, let's get this shit comment show on the road, shall we?

THIS CAMPAIGN STARTS WITH AWARENESS

This can be as simple as acknowledging a total shit comment in your reply feed like you see to the left... Then we could suggest action to the commenter such as...


WHY STOP THERE?

In hopes to discourage everyone from competing in the SHIT COMMENTER OF THE YEAR AWARDS, we must educate and lead by example. Let's also not forget to give those votes out where they are due! Those of you who have already decided to remain on the dark side and go for the gold in the Shit Commenter of 2018 Awards can rest assured that your efforts will be recognized. We hope to bring awareness with these simple nomination badges below.

INTRODUCING THE SHIT COMMENTER AWARDS of 2018 / #theshitlist2018

shit-comment-awards-announce.png

LET THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT COMMENCE!!

Nominate the best of the worst with this badge to give credit where it is due


When you get a total shit comment on your post that is entirely irrelevant - nominate that special someone by replying with this badge to the right. You can use this badge by simply copying the address and pasting into a reply box.

(copy the link highlighted below to use the image)
https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmfNpJwjip4S2yRobRhy18S3Y8ECaYXiVsxzrhyh9MYezB/shitcomment-nominee---dishonorable-mention.png

cuss-face.gif

Another option - Again, No need for harsh replies, just a simple way to say THANKS with this badge:


https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmQZzwHk3wzAhzXyg1E6PxTVFV1w7NHH9WEuMVQARJik5v/shit-comment-nomination-award.png

What a great way to acknowledge that special someone!

shit-comment-award-(full).png
https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmdse2WsvfStpLGXhYDrymPSZauvqdeHKCkGjiqMp6rv6u/shit-comment-award-(full).png

WRITE A POST WITH YOUR NOMINATIONS (if you dare) AND USE THE TAG #THESHITLIST2018

You can also nominate people who frequently shit-comment on your posts below in the comment section. @Grow-pro will ensure they get their badge

schoolbus-divider-grow-pro.png

THE CONCLUSION OF THIS LESSON:

friends-dont-shit-comment.png

Friends don't let friends shit comment on Steemit. Let's be friends

FEEL FREE TO SAVE COURSE MATERIAL, BADGES, AND GRAPHICS IN THIS POST - please use the links provided so that we are not uploading copies of the same image a thousand times. And always remember the first step to being human is to use your brain.

SHITPOST YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS πŸ₯‡SATIRE SERIES by @GROW-PRO:


✏️ Introducing: SHITPOST YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS πŸ₯‡All NEW Steemit-Exclusive Mini-Series

✏️ SHITPOST YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS πŸ₯‡NEW Steemit-Exclusive Series β€’ Lesson No. 1 β€’ Letting go of quality for profit

✏️ SHITPOST YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS πŸ₯‡NEW Steemit-Exclusive Satire Series β€’ Lesson No. 02 β€’ Stealing Art 101

✏️ SHITPOST YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS πŸ₯‡NEW Steemit-Exclusive Satire Series β€’ Lesson No. 03 β€’ Rebel Writing

Screen Shot 2018-07-02 at 8.25.31 PM.png

πŸ”₯It is getting HOT & I'm Just Gettin' Started!!πŸ”₯


WE HAD SOME GREAT COMMENTARY LAST WEEK, THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!!


SQCI-banner-grow-pro-minnows-to-whales copy.jpg

all content in this post is original, created for Steemit by @grow-pro


click to visit @witnesspage on steemit, managed by @jackmiller

Sort: Β 

What a shitpost!

πŸ’© Takes a while to polish a turd like this, @jumowa! πŸ˜†

Me being born polish you just stepped in a gold pun puddle full of πŸ’©.

Well Done!

I would reply here with "nice post" but that could make me the first nomination of the year!

So in order to avoid that, here it is, the best comment I could think of:

Really Nice Post, MAN.

Let the fun begin, Captain Jack! Let's see who ends up on #theshitlist2018 spotlight
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Haha@ it's always a pleasure to cross your path @grow-pro! I come across more shit comments on other ppl's posts, that are often self-upvoted πŸ™ˆ these badges might just come in handy. As always love your artwork! Have a wonderful day!!

Likewise, @yogajill! Always a pleasure. Feel free to give those shit commenters an honorable mention anytime! I'll be sure the badges make their way to them πŸ’©

Thanks for dropping by! And also for tolerating my shitposts in your feed πŸ˜†πŸ‘

Hahaha! πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ‘πŸ˜πŸ₯

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Lets do this people

πŸ˜‚ Love it, @chrisendowed

Nicely played

Its a 43 mins read post which was posted 15 seconds ago ... hahahah ... this made my day ... amazing meme

Surprised I don't see a "please up vote my post" comment on here yet :)

It's still early..πŸ˜†
I'm sure there will be a nomination made in this thread before the weekendπŸ†

Β 6 years agoΒ (edited)Β 

I read through a lot of comments where I thought:
"Shut the f*ck up and stop posting bullshit "nice post!"

If people want to have more votes, they should start posting their own bullshit....

IΒ΄d love to use the badge for some bullshit-posters here. :-D
bookmarked the post - to use it in the future
and of course upvoted&resteemed

🎯 5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ points for @hasenmann
Go ahead and earn bonus points for using the badges πŸ€˜πŸ˜‚

I appreciate people who speak their mind!
Thank you for the support and may the laughs & STEEM be with you

After reading this very informative post, with 532 likes,(when I visited) I was amazed at the lack of shit comments or anything else resembling a comment. I do believe you may have scared off anyone who would want to comment. I'd say this was a great post, but I actually feel it is a shit post written only to gain upvotes for yourself. Then why not, there are a lot of people doing the same thing!
I kid you, actually shit comments are annoying as fuck. the great post, thankyou comment drives me up the fucking wall, especially when you have no idea what they found so great about it in the first place.

Feel free to toss those badges out as you damn well please, buddy!

I'd say this was a great post, but I actually feel it is a shit post written only to gain upvotes for yourself. Then why not, there are a lot of people doing the same thing!

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ well not exactly accurate...let me clear the air:
Look back on the INTENSE amount of content I have created since I started, then at the 175~ or so Steemians I have created art for, then at the 20k word series on growing money to see if I were doing it for votes I'd have quit a year ago πŸ˜† I have written 3,000 word articles that earned 3 votes and .04sbd.

I guess I'm old school, but when my car runs outta gas - I get out and push it, NOT abandoned my car

DREAMS, STEEMS, & MEMES

I told you I was kidding about that! I have a dark and weird sense of humour, but then you have to know me to get that...

πŸ˜† no problem, I'm a broken-humor type myself, @skiponline. Have to laugh or die in this world. Glad you dropped by and decided to comment

Shit! This is a fine post. Love the wit, and appreciate the effort put into making another quality post that's worth reading. And good for a few smiles also.

Thank you, thank you! I try my best to shine these shitposts up nicely, so at least it doesn't burn the eyes

Glad it was good for a laugh, @majes.tytyty. Thanks for dropping in!

God loves shit-posts, thats why he created so many people who make them ;)

πŸ˜‚ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That made me laugh, BIG THANKS!!!! Well played @scaletrix

This was pretty funny. The subject matter almost made me not want to comment or upvote lmao

πŸ˜† well I'm glad you dove in anyhow, @swagadam! Maybe this award is all we needed to steer us toward "proof of brain". Might be a uTURD SMT token soon if we keep this series going long enough..LOL

Β 6 years agoΒ (edited)Β 

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ seriously man you nailed it!!!
We always do same shit "nice post" without reading whole post...

Posted using Partiko Android

🍻 high five @jaissaurabh, just trying to do my part πŸ˜†

If you want to go to the Good Place call it "Shirt Post"
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Congratulations @grow-pro!
Your post was mentioned in the Steemit Hit Parade in the following category:

  • Upvotes - Ranked 2 with 1173 upvotes

Astute post, good sir!

Great comment, astute sir! 🍻

lololololol this is great

Now i will hear in my head that song. God allmighty ^^.I try to give so much from myself on every comment. Very like to comment nice photos. This time will comment your voice , very nice singing. Shit post nananana

The tune is contagious! @steevc did a knockout job on that one!

Hi, congratz, you are now listed on the Steemians directory. You can read more about this new initiative here: https://steemit.com/steemit/@anonyvoter/new-selections-of-july-3-2018 If you like this project it would be great if you could resteem the post to make more people aware of it.
If you don’t want to be listed just leave me a comment and I will delete your profile from the website. As I just added you, your profile will stay visible on the homepage of the directory (https://www.steemiandir.com/) at least until my next update post on steemit.
Thank you very much for reading and I’m looking forward to your feedback!
PS: I’m NOT a bot so… I’m really looking forward to your feedback 😊

Nailed it brother!!!

Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by grow-pro from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows. Please find us at the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.

If you would like to delegate to the Minnow Support Project you can do so by clicking on the following links: 50SP, 100SP, 250SP, 500SP, 1000SP, 5000SP.
Be sure to leave at least 50SP undelegated on your account.

Β 6 years agoΒ (edited)Β 

I think the shitpost reward should go to @a-0-0. It has a negative 8 reputation score and where's I had made posts it basically comments seconds after my post. Just wonderful lol.

Consider that badge as good as delivered! Last comment was 4 days ago and has been flagged - I'll be notified when the opportunity presents itself! I'm always happy to award the deep negative users with an extra hammer or two πŸ˜†

pixresteemer_incognito_angel_mini.png
Congratz, your post has been resteemed and, who knows, will maybe appear in the next edition of the #dailyspotlights (Click on my face if you want to know more about me...)
Check the rules of the Daily Spotlights if you want to nominate someone!
Pixresteemer is also listed as promoter on The Steemians Directory

Good Lord! #jackmademereadit and this is funny as all get out!!

Bookmarked for the award links :D

here is some glitter to brighten your day :D

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Hahahaha he is one convincing Aussie. It's has been a busy week, but nevertheless inspiring for the next Shitpost lesson. So much ground to cover yet, hopefully it will be more entertaining than the first few!

Thanks for accepting me for the goofball that I am, @snook βœŒοΈπŸ˜‚

That was a totally great article.

i just wanted to say I loved your #post and uh, never change- stay sweet:) see you next FALL- #crap....I'm doing it again @angrytwin

This article is a work of art :D
Big thanks!

Why do shit commenters live long, because shit is everywhere. Its genius to invent shit.

lol man lol!!.,,,.....

Well done @grow-pro! You successfully guessed the match result.

Round 16 - Sweden vs Switzerland
Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor.
Do you want to know your current ranking? Read this post

Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:
SteemitBoard World Cup Contest - Round of 16 - Day 3


Do you like the SteemitBoard World Cup Contest?
Vote for @steemitboard as a witness and get one more award!

Well done @grow-pro! You successfully guessed the match result.

Round 16 - Colombia vs England
Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor.
Do you want to know your current ranking? Read this post

Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:
SteemitBoard World Cup Contest - Round of 16 - Day 4


Do you like the SteemitBoard World Cup Contest?
Vote for @steemitboard as a witness and get one more award!

This post has received a 9.48 % upvote from @boomerang.

Β 6 years agoΒ (edited)Β 

Omg what a shitpost I was really shocked when reading the title of the post made me go crazy

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