Thanks for your thoughtful comments. I fully agree that having a benevolent dictator type scenario can work but it will probably be temporary as things always change. Consensus is great too but as you know it and people can be manipulated or tricked into thinking they are doing the right thing.
I am struggling with this issue currently because I am working on a project with these exact issues. How to create communities not fiefdoms and and how to motivate people to do the right thing? Can it be done without strong arm tactics? How do you incentivize people to stay on the positive course. Challenging in today's world to say the least. 3 years ago I was offered to run a platform like Steemit but turned it down because I could not see how to move people away from being motivated by money to being interested in the community. I am still not sure it can actually work, so I am a student here. Watching. participating, and urging when I can. Our world needs environments where community is at the center, and I believe in humanity so I am helpful, but still searching.
In terms of my girlfriend, yes I agree. I suggested to her to contact the head of the group directly and see his demeanor. If he is unfair or unapologetic, then you have to disregard this group. This would be a shame because the Thai group is small and they are trying to bring people together. She has a great personality and fantastic organizational skills and she is motivated to help. We will see though.
Thanks and keep on thinking and focusing on making this place the one we know it can be. :)