Hey Lily, I'm in complete agreement with what @realtreebivvy says, especially these two powerful paras:
i'm always open to criticism, and as soon as i press that "post" tab, then i stand behind my words 100%, until such time that someone corrects me and my truth is exposed as a point of view only.
and
i think if you believe in the value of your work, then others will see this in the quality of what you write and up-vote. If you don't believe in your own worth, then chances are that you will up-vote yourself to boost your self esteem. If the self up-vote was removed, then the only way a whale could generate income would be to pay it forward and contribute to the steem platform.
I'd add that by not using bots and not self-voting, I'm not using means to raise my profile and draw users to my blog, and can therefore feel free. If I entice someone here, then I am also raising expectations which I am sensitive to, and would feel oblidged to meet in some way. It does feels uncomfortably narcissistic. This is hassle I do not want. It pressurises me to behave and respond in ways that may not feel right - but too late, I've set the ball in motion and have to deal with the consequences. I don't wish to make life hard for myself, I want to keep it simple and I no longer wish to disrespect myself (or anyone else) at even the most subtle of levels by being fake. What others do, or what effect it may have on my earnings, is not particularly relavant (abundance mindset :). I do not need to seek external authority and I do not need to justify myself. I kinda like it this way :D
Thank you @realtreebivvy and @barge for your thoughts, advice and opinions!
I am grateful to know that there are whales out there doing great work, I have not run into many so far because I have been sticking to waters I understand...posting my blog from sincerity and truth, writing from integrity and hoping to inspire a few people along the way, as they have inspired me.
My own little mission is The Kindness Code which I began just a few short weeks ago when I joined steemit, when I realised that what the world needs is MORE and more kindness. That any evolvution of consciousness must include basic ethics, sound moral principles coupled with kindness, as default settings, if you will.
And that seemed to resonate with the ethos and community spirit here on steemit. At the end of each day as I brush my teeth I have to be able to look myself in the eyes and know that I have stood in alignment with my own truth. Being fixated on upvotes, popularity, shallowness and petty behaviour are of no interest to me whatsoever.
Perhaps I am just naturally narcissism averse....but even posting pictures of myself is something I resist in this superficial selfie world!
@barge your wisdom on the subject of abundance has stimulated a great deal of thought in me today and its blooming marvellous when someone does that for you...yes that was a little pun on the "snowdrop" debate! 😊