Thanks for the crack at an explanation, @ilvstranger. I noticed the calculator isn't working there, but above it states, "This tool converts VESTS in to STEEM. 1 VESTS = 489.94115909618 [Steem]". That can't be right. Seems like the decimal needs to move 3 characters to the left to be more inline with your figure above. Then my 1,034.005813 vests would be equivalent to 506,602 Steem, which would make the value in USD at the current $1.87 each worth almost a Million Bucks... LOL... So if I use your figure above of "8500 vests = aprox. $4.1380", then my 1,034.005813 vests would be equivalent to around $1.00. Unless your $4.1380 doesn't equal just over $4.00.
About the only other explanation I've seen here is that vests are stock in Steemit. So maybe that's why it's hidden behind so many veils, because of the regulators... LOL Anyway, this stuff is way too over complicated and almost seems to have been designed for that specific purpose and regulation seems to be the only thing that makes much sense. If that is the case, they should do away with it and simplify the system so that people can understand it.