I have been an educator for over twenty years.
It is a fact that I can never handle the children in this century using the same methods that I used in the past when I first started teaching. Change is the main constant in this planet earth.
External influence
With the advancement of smartphone as well as internet, every child in this modern age can easily access to information beyond classroom.
They may not sound as respectful to teachers and parents like we used to be when we were young. They need to be treated as equal most of the time to gain rapport with them as well as to gain access to understand them better through mutual respect.
Different generations would have its own challenges.
With the absence of role models, online social media as well as peers will be their main source of influence.
Every child is good
We should at least as parents have a strong belief that all children are good to start with.
Everyone comes to this earth as a baby and we can never say whether a baby is good or evil. The external factors as well as characteristics of a child are later developed by different conditions.
I have handled many discipline cases down the years where many children fought without finding the truth and down into conclusion due to misunderstanding.
I do understand there are children who are diagnosed with anger management or behavioural disorder nowadays but I am referring to normal children.
You may see great changes in your child from around age 11 onwards when puberty comes into play with physical changes as well as in search of an identity.
It really takes great patience for parents and I can imagine what many of you are going through since I have two sons of age 18 and 14. Both with different characteristics and temperaments.
You must first believe that your child is good and change is possible regardless of what you see now.
Change your approach to situation
When things happen, do you just jump in to shout and scold?
I guess it takes time to change as we need to curate good relationship as well as treat every situation as a learning experience.
Just to share one way that you can use to teach your child how to handle situation with a more sensible way but it will not become a habit immediately and it takes patience to inculcate it into your child.
Stop-Think-Go approach
Let’s talk about ‘Stop-Think-Go’ approach to situation.
Role play this approach at home rather than wait for situation to happen.
You should also set a good role model of this approach when things happen at your end to highlight immediately as an example to your child.
First Step: Stop
Whenever your child encounters a situation or misunderstanding, teach your child to stop and don’t react to it first.
It is just like taking a step back and calm themselves down especially most children are quick to anger nowadays. Controlling their angers and violence will be the first priority.
Tell your child to stop immediately what they feel like doing and don’t react to it immediately but calm themselves down first.
Second Step: Think
Get your child to reflect and think about what has happened before reacting to it immediately.
Analyse the situation before jumping into conclusion to avoid misunderstanding.
Predict possible underlying issues on their own first.
Example of possible questions to assist in the thinking process.
1) A rumor
-Where did he/she hear it from?
-How reliable it could be?
-Could it be a make-up story to create conflicts by someone?
2) Treated badly by someone
-Why did he/she react this way to me?
-Is he/she going through something or difficulty situation
resulting in this behaviour to me?
-Did I offend the person in anyway resulting in misunderstanding?
Third step: Go
The last step is really how they should decide the way to handle the misunderstanding or conflict.
By this stage, your child probably will approach the person or find out more to take the necessary actions before jumping into conclusion as the past.
Investigating and resolving the issue in a calm way would often result in positive experience and get your child to know when to say ‘sorry’ or how to get the apologise they deserve in a subtle way.
They will learn how to manage their relationship more effectively.
They will also less likely to get angry easily especially managing their emotions during puberty period is really not easy.
I hope you find this article meaningful and simple to follow.
I must admit that there are many other effective ways to teach your child how to handle situation effectively.
‘Stop-Think-Go’ approach is not the only way so you should explore other ways actively.
Remember that there is really no such thing as one size fits all since each child is different if one approach does not work, just try another approach.
The most important thing is not to give up as it may just be a passing phase.
This is the end of my article and I will post a new article about 5 days later.
Your acknowledgement and recognition are important to me.
Thank you for reading my article.
Disclaimer: This is my personal reflection and I am not in any position to instruct anyone what they should do. I am not responsible for any action taken as a result of this post. My post can only be a reference for your further research and growth. By reading this post, you acknowledge and accept that. All images and pictures were taken from google images that are free from copyright under labelled fo
I believe there are no bad children. They're good. But can do bad things, because the child is not taught what is good, what is bad.
All children are gift of God. God will never give us bad gift. Guiding the child the way he should go is really part of the parent's role. Thanks for your comment.
que bonito contenido de verdad, lo niños son lo mejor del mundo y aunque no tengo hijo tengo muhos primitos, los niños siempre son la alegria de la casa. Saludos, tienes mi apoyo
Thanks for your suppport and visit!
Everyone comes to this earth as a baby and we can never say whether a baby is good or evil. The external factors as well as characteristics of a child are later developed by different conditions. <- THIS!
I actually believe environmend and conditions where kids grow up are the ONLY factor which can cause things like anger management problems as you've mentioned..
I believe in that too. Sometimes we judge kids by their parents which makes them act out how we treat them.
Thanks for your response!
Thanks @fun2leaen for another great article, no one can tell how impatient I've been waiting for your article to arrive because you're always creating good contents. Please can't you consider reducing the time interval between your posts because your followers are starving.
Thanks for your patience. Due to the fact that not all my followers are free to check their feed daily due to work commitment so I have been posting every 5 days. I will consider.
That method is helpful. It is a realization in our part that we should not jump to conclusions and be more understanding of children. My patient is thin when it comes to kids as the years go by. I have to keep remembering the stop-think-go method. I live with my siblings and my niblings. The kids argue every day and it is frustrating. Not a day goes by that there is no shouting or argument. Temper is easily triggered. When one explodes, everybody explodes.
The Stop Think Go method could be a life saver! I gotta to admit I tend to lose patience and my temper, especially in the middle of a recording as my son or my daughter asks me to solve an issue, that could be resolved so easily if we manage to stay calm, and take 3 minutes to assess.
When i am very focused on a task , the STOP part is pretty much impossible haha
Good article!
Thank you for reading! It is true when you are so passionate about the music that you are making that you can lose your cool. Thanks for the visit and all the best for your music! I am a regular supporter even though I don't comment!
Thanks for the support, it's truly appreciated, I try to do the same with your great content!
That’s a very good method, I think it would work even with adults. My kids are far from puberty still and I can’t even imagine right now what to expect but it’s good to know for the future:-)
Perhaps you can practice it yourself with different situation in life when you tend to lose your cool like someone cutting your queue when you are paying for your grocery etc. When your kids are older, you can easily set a good example as you are used to it! Thanks for your support and reading!
Yes for sure, I need to practice it and I will. Hope I’ll get prepared for my future teenagers. Thank you for your advices @fun2learn.
right in accordance with the progress of our age. As parents must actively monitor the development of the day to stay in the supervision of parents.@gun2learn
Thanks for the comment!
You are welcome, friend
hello, really that your approach seems quite practical and effective, I have two small children and it is not easy to raise them because both especially the male has a strong character, thanks for sharing and I'll put it into practice to see how I'm doing, I invite you to visit my blog since I regularly publish articles related to the beautiful art of educating, greetings !!
It will be great if it works for you as different children need different approaches. Sometimes, it takes time to find the right one.
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Nice to read your post, I do appreciate on your writing and agree with your statement My post can only be a reference for your further research and growth. I had ever been a dormitory teacher for almost three years. I got so many cases to handle with my students. Each case has its own way to solve.
‘Stop-Think-Go’ approach is not the only way so you should explore other ways actively
But, I used to take this stop-think-go in solving my students cases yet I didn't know the term of this approach. Thanks for your sharing.
It is great that you have used it in a practical way and it has helped you to solve your student cases in the past! Thanks for the comment!
I need to learn a lot how to write like you and the others. I Prefer reading n writing a comment than creating an article. Let me learn to be a good writer like you.
Thanks a lot
Welcome!