You're back! I will save to read tomorrow, when I have the luxury of time.
Edit:
I've come back and have read the article through with care. There isn't a lot to argue with, although you know I do enjoy a good debate :) You build your case carefully. I think the points you make are valid and are important for people to remember when they try to negotiate heterosexual relationship minefields. If we all really did try to get along, rather than get what we wanted, there would be so much less trouble in the world (or at least between men and women). This would require thinking about what someone is saying, and not what we want them to say (echo of @abigail-dantes here).
I couldn't find the first citation you listed, but did find a relevant articlethat suggests why men may place a higher value on sex than women do. For one thing, women have a lot more at risk...this is a matter of evolutionary biology. Sex can result in pregnancy, and pregnancy can result in death. In an evolutionary sense, this is not an eventuality males have to consider. On the contrary, the more encounters males have, the more likely they are to propagate and insure the continuation of their genetic material. The article goes into a more complex discussion which I will not repeat, but the discussion is interesting and bears on your blog.
Your reference to semantics and misinterpretation is one I've given a lot of thought to, but not in relation to gender. Just generally. I notice how people talk past each other, often because they are using terms in different ways. Feminist, for example, is a rich example. What that word means to me is likely very different from what it means to you. But we don't talk past each other because we take the time to understand.
I won't try you with other points that come to mind. As usual, your blog is highly readable and provocative.
Yes, I'll talk a bit about the 'parental investment' theory in the next post.
Individuals definitely use their terms in different ways. But, like Wittgenstein says, there are still 'family resemblances' between different uses of the same word (otherwise all communication would fall apart). Feminists acknowledge the tag of war words suffer through: one of the roles of the patriarchy is to define words in the way men as a group see fit, with groups that have less power having literally little say over it.
Hi @alexander.alexis: Hope the holiday season is treating you well. It wore me out :)
As for feminism: I think for women of my generation, feminism has a particular meaning. It means exactly negating the authority of the patriarchy. The evolution of the term for me, and those of my generation (those of like mind, anyway), can be traced back to Simone de Beauvoir and down through Betty Friedan. We don't acknowledge the authority of the patriarchy to define a term that describes us. Or to describe behaviors that restrict us. The resonance of feminism in our lives has to do with the ability to earn money and to establish equitable relationships--both formal and informal. Somehow the term has taken on another meaning, one that most feminists from my generation would reject--hostility toward men.
In 1968, Shirley Chisholm was the first black female elected to the US Congress. She once said, “I have certainly met much more discrimination in terms of being a woman than being black, in the field of politics.”. This is the universe in which I grew up, and in which I embraced the term feminist. It was, and still is, all about equity and fair play.
Hope you don't mind my long explanation. I think there is so much confusion about feminism, that it's important to be clear when I, and many others, use the term.
Looking forward to your next blog. You discuss topics that are often overlooked and you do so with thorough research as a foundation.
Oh yeah I'm aware of many different forms of feminism, and it's indeed now very different from before. It used to be more about politics, even when it got to the personal realm it was mostly political, and now it's much less clear what's meant by it. To me it mostly means just be willing to talk and learn about gender issues.
Holiday season is good on my taste buds! :D
🙂 🍮🍴