This time I tried to kill two birds with one stone so here's my crossover creature: a freewrite that's also a story in under 300 words (294 in English, 256 in Italian).
Both thanks to @mariannewest and @swissclive for their great initiatives.. Steemit needs more people like you to flourish its huge potential!
https://steemit.com/story-300words/@swissclive/short-story-initiative-a-story-in-under-300-words
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-75-5-minute-freewrite-prompt-dog-hair
But let's cut to the chase.. here's my short English/Italian story!
original by @f3nix
English Version
Countless eons passed before the endless and once empty paths of the Labyrinth started to be populated by a fascinating civilization: Stheemia.
In Stheemia, the only currency of exchange were stories. Simple tales for some bread, magnificent novels for a home.
The young Wonnim was as skilled at telling stories as ambitious. One day an old beggar, to whom Wonnim had saved his life, confided to him the secret of the Fountain of a Thousand Stories.
This mystical source rose at the centre of the Labyrinth, surrounded by the Garden of Whispers and many other jets of crystalline water. Anyone who was able to drink from it would have had the gift of telling the most amazing stories with incomparable mastery.
Unfortunately, the closer you got to the source the more the adventurer would lose words and imagination.
Wonnim did not think twice and prepared his bundle, excited for the quest.
At first, thanks to his skills, it was not difficult for the crafty young man to find clues on the way forward.
Later on, as he approached, Wonnim began to progressively lose the ability to narrate, now a word, now a plot.
Not much time passed before he could not even buy the hair of a dog as incapable as he was to even make a funny joke.
Despite everything, thin and hungry, he arrived at the gardens. Joyous water games welcomed him as he crossed the threshold of that heavenly place where, at the centre, it was said there was the legendary fountain.
In that moment, Wonnim's poor mind completely abandoned him.
And so it was that, without remembering the reason that had led him to that enchanting place, the ambitious man kept wandering for those gardens, stammering confusedly along with others before him.
Versione Italiana
Innumerevoli eoni passarono prima che gli infiniti percorsi del labirinto brulicassero di quella affascinante civiltà: Stheemia.
A Stheemia la moneta di scambio erano le storie. Storie semplici per un po' di pane, interi romanzi per un casa.
Il giovane Wonnim era tanto abile a raccontar storie quanto ambizioso. Un giorno un vecchio mendicante, a cui Wonnim aveva salvato la vita, gli confidò il segreto della Fontana delle mille storie.
Al centro del labirinto esisteva una mistica fonte, incastonata nel Giardino dei Bisbigli e circondata da mille altri getti d'acqua cristallina. Chiunque fosse riuscito ad abbeverarsi avrebbe avuto in dono la capacità di raccontare le più incredibili storie.
Sfortunatamente, più ci si avvicinava alla fonte più l'avventuriero avrebbe perso parole ed immaginazione.
Wonnim non esitò e, preparando un essenziale bagaglio, partì alla ricerca.
All'inizio, grazie alla sua abilità, non fu difficile per lo scaltro giovane trovare indizi sulla strada da seguire.
Poi, mentre si avvicinava, Wonnim inizio a perdere sempre di più la capacità di raccontare, ora una parola, ora una trama.
Ormai, non si sarebbe nemmeno potuto comprare il pelo di un cane da tanto era diventato incapace di raccontare.
Giunse al Giardino, magro ed affamato. Gioiosi giochi d'acqua gli diedero il benvenuto mentre varcava la soglia di quel posto paradisiaco ove, al centro, si diceva vi fosse la leggendaria fontana.
E fu lì che la mente di Wonnim lo abbandonò del tutto.
L'ambizioso giovane, ormai dimentico del motivo per cui si trovava in quel posto, restò a vagare assieme a molti altri per quei giardini, bisbigliando frasi sconnesse.
This story has a very nice even flow, sort of like a narration at the end of a much longer trail of events. For me, it was kind of like the song/ballad at the end of an American Western movie as the main character rides off slowly into the sunset. 🤠 😎 👍
Interesting comment.. i would have never thought of it like this Deacon. It just confirms that what you write lives in the eyes of the reader.
Scrivere un racconto in meno di trecento parole è una bella scommessa...
Secondo me l'hai vinta. Bravo. Bella storia!
Grazie Marco! Ci si prova.. sicuramente essere verbosi é più facile che trovare la sintesi senza perdere in efficacia (qui ho tagliato molto).. Il tuo passaggio sul mio blog mi ha fatto molto piacere.
Grazie a te!
Questa è davvero una bella storia in meno di 300 parole, peccato che io abbia completamente mancato questa iniziativa, che spero si ripeterà. Altrimenti, amen...continuerò a fare solo i freewrite, ma ho bisogno di raggiungere la Fontana delle mille storie ;)
Grazie Marco! Veramente non l'hai mancata avresti tempo fino all'otto gennaio.. Ho dovuto tagliare tanto visto il limite di parole..mi fa piacere che sia rimasta piacevole da leggere.
Ho visto, infatti anche io l'ho fatta doppia...ma non ho dovuto tagliare niente, perché il flusso dei pensieri mi ha portato a un semplice e breve testo sui miei cani...mi manca la Lilly, sono diventato un vecchio piagnucolone
This was a great story! I loved how you related the tale of an epic quest back to the Steem platform. Keep on writing!
This is a very clever comment, thank you! In fact - if only I could use more than 300 words - I would have developed the symbolic and allegorical meaning. The maze is also our psyche.
I think this story has a great concept and you should consider extending it to a full series! I think you would get some readers
This is another good idea..as a matter of fact im planning a long novel in episodes..let me check your last articles 😉
A second episode published just now :-) I'd love your opinion.. Here
I love the idea of a whole system run on story telling! :) as usual, I love your sentence structure :)
Thank you @felt.buzz your comments are always very much appreciated! If I had more time and patience to develop it, I would give this story a more symbolic - allegorical meaning..
I also liked the tone. to me it reads like a fairy tale, one to tell the youngsters around a campfire. A piece like this, that sets a definite tone, can also be used as a prologue for the rest of the world. I wondered if they happened to wander back the way they came, their normal memory would come back?
Anyway, very nice.
Thank you Dennis, I wanted to try a different style ..suitable with the words limit. But let me go and check what you wrote in your blog..
glad that you got such a nice vote! Someday, we can dish them out too :)
Soon we'll be a clan of crazy dolphins exchanging each other joyful massive votes and helping minnows 😉
You write so beautifully and I'm NOT just being nice. You make me want to learn Italian so I can read it in the way it was originally written but I need to learn Spanish first so someday I can talk to my Grandchildren whenever they decided to be born. loll
This story to me is a lesson on being careful what you wish for........as the end is not always what you think it will be.
Bravo!
Thank you for your meaningful comment @snook ! This story talks about the labyrinth of our ego. I would have done It longer but I had to remain within a words limit..from Spanish to Italian is a very close step ;-) However the story wouldn't sound nicer, actually sometimes im starting to prefer the English language.. thanks again and take care always ☺️
your sucking all the American romantic dreamings a young girl thinks from watching way too many old movies by saying it would sound better in English LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
I hope you and Mrs. 3D F3nix are still enjoying your Holiday!!! :D
Very tired today from writing comments that were more then "I LOVE this!" I'm going to have to make a post for people to reference so I can go back to my normal comments LOLLL
Your last part of the comment is interesting... sometimes i find myself in the same situation. Although is nice and fair to encourage people, I think sometimes comes the moment to cool down a bit. Not because we are heartless but because then, when you say "i love it" It gets a true and authentic meaning and you don't male It sound ordinary... talking to myself mainly 😉 Mrs F3nix went back 2d till february... Uff...tough day. But thanks for asking my friend! I still need to spot where you blogged my avatar in the home...lazy me!
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@snook/netflix-episode-12-the-old-steemians-home-the-waiting
now going to try and get some sleep that is not cooperating!
Thank you for the story. Have you been drinking from the magic steemit fountain of blogs? Seems you may have got there without forgetting why you went.
Voted
Maybe I am the crafty young Minnow/Wonnim. It's not written how much time he remained wondering in those gardens but, this, is another story. Your vote is a great encouragement for me, I will follow you and I hope that you will enjoy again my work.
Bella storia... triste il finale! Dopo tanta fatica e svuotato delle parole e senza immaginazione, il povero avventuriero non è riuscito a godere della sua ricompensa. Hai una bella capacità di scrittura, bravo/a.
Grazie Carlo per essere passato e per l'incoraggiamento! É proprio il paradosso finale che mi piaceva.. capisco il tuo commento e difatti c'é un seguito. Non sono sicuro che vagherá per sempre e a volte il fato tesse strane trame.
Allora se deciderai di pubblicarlo, attenderò il secondo capitolo :-)
Eccolo qui! spero ti piaccia ;-)
This story is just so wonderful! I'm reminded of all of the fairy tales children are read as they grow, teaching them to be patient, humble, kind, and all of the other things we value in others. A wonderful story that teaches a valuable lesson.
Thank you @saryn .. I wasn't sure of the lesson when I wrote it but it's nice to try the tale format 🙂
What can I get in exchange for a freewrite about a zoo of storytellers? I read this to my youngest daughter while we cuddling and watching the lights on our Christmas tree. She said he was dumb to go on the journey. LOL. But, yeah, I think he was too greedy to want "success" handed to him. (Also, he should know better than to go on a journey in a @f3nix tale!)
Priceless comment! Now im obliged to reveal you part 2 for your little one..how can I do? Maybe a freewrite in the weekend.. Im escapeing from work..let me comment more on this later.. hahah you put me in a real good mood 😀
I love how kids are blunt and straight to the point.. I'll publish the sequel for her this weekend 😊 I've a great Idea..i hope she will have fun!
My littlest one could cut down an army with a sentence! One of these days I'll have to tell you what she said to me while I was cleaning our refrigerator. We will be looking forward to your sequel, thank you @f3nix!
She reminds me of my little niece.. she's 3 and a real gangster (and actress) hahah
Ciao Brisbelia! There it is .. dedicate to your super cute and story-slayer daughter :-)))
You humble me with your imagination and writing style. I'm glad I discovered this.
Thanks my friend, don't exagerate or I will start to believe it 😉 I have a sequel I will write today.. i wish I will have your opinion!
I am sad to read that you are back to a 2D wife version. but February is right around the corner.
I have all the posts for tomorrow prepared and am going to post them after I wake up - am babysitting right now at my son's house. I can only publish every 5 minutes. So, if you see the single prompt option, the first of the 3 prompt will be up 5 minutes later. I usually write something saying that there are two options on the weekend, then add both Url's, copy that and paste it with each comment ... Thank you so much for jumping in. And if you don't get to all, just let me know where to start!
Ok Mar, thanks for the briefing.. you usually post them in 5 hours from now (here is 12:30 ..I see them at 17:30 my timezone) am I right? But I will be online and check often, in case you cannot confirm this comment. I will comment all those that wrote the "Pen" one right? The 2D sucks but I have you friends helping me to make this more standable..i should write about it and say thanks to all.. Ah Mar, I took back the SP but I will delegate It again in case I will be away from steemit..I was thinking of setting a bot helping our community with votes..One day i want to talk to you in discord..😉
sounds all good!! Thank you so much for the delegation in the first place!!
here is are the prompts thingies and I am going to start on the bottom of the list once I have all the weekend ones published. Lots of people writing right now and I haven't been able to vote for all of them yet... Teamwork!!
Weekends, you have 2 options. You have the choice of a single prompt: https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/weekend-freewrite-1-6-2018-single-prompt-option
Or you can get adventurous and weave three 5minute freewrites into one story starting with this prompt: https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/weekend-freewrite-1-6-2018-part-1-the-first-sentence
When I will grow up my support will be more solid don't worry..I was reading your reply about the freedom of all of us..simply great... I will start now reviewing them, voting, commenting posting..hope i'm fast enough.. you're great Marianne, I hope we will always stay like this in the Old Steemian Home ;-)
We will make sure of it! :)
Ohh, I love this!
In Stheemia, the only currency of exchange were stories. Simple tales for some bread, magnificent novels for a home.
Thank you Carol, it's a true pleasure to know you enjoyed part of my work. I greatly appreciate it, since it comes from a professional.
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