Img Src
The bawling and vitriolic insults at the door were a little much even for my never-angery disposition.
My date was as pleasant as ever and we made small talk. Little things, like what things I liked to do around my home, what kind of music I enjoyed, was it my favorite musical, and so on.
I knew she was there by her tone. The guy I was there with was just as pleasant as could be, but I got the feeling that he could father children if it was the last thing he ever did.
I was so self-involved, I ground silent in my own little world and barely ate any of my portion of pad thai.
Eventually she stomped out of the front door, and the young man I was there with picked up his fork and shoveled a mass of noodles into his mouth.
"Miss me?" he asked, rubbing his stomach absentmindedly, as if he were just finishing a workout in his sweats and not eating his own parent's food.
"Oh, stop it!" I said in mock anger, "Stop trying to make her feel guilty. It's not her fault! She doesn't know that her son has invited someone to his house for a date. If she did, she'd show up to tell him."
His eyes narrowed at the thought. "Oh I get it," he said knowingly, "that's why she doesn't know."
"Yeah," I nodded in agreement, "But of course she thinks that they are friends. She doesn't know it is her son's girlfriend. But that makes her even worse. She thinks that we are an odd couple. She thinks that she has to be so rude to someone she doesn't know. She's a terrible mother... and she's rude!"
"I don't think she is being rude."
"Really?" I asked in surprise, "Then why are you so nice in her presence?"
"It's the only way I can be nice to her. She's never nice to me."
"That's because you're always so nice to me!" I said.
"Shut up and eat your noodles girl," he said, jokingly jabbing me in the arm.
My date reached over to my plate and scooped up some noodles onto my plate.
I raised an eyebrow in his direction. "But I don't want him to think I'm eating all of them!" I replied.
"So, what's it like dating someone who has a mom like that?" asked my date.
"Well," I tapped my fork on the table in thought. "It's a bit uncomfortable at first. I know that some guys would rather date someone without that kind of a situation. On the other hand, it is my opinion that on the rare occasion that a man's parents are still together, usually that man is bitter about it, not doing well with his life, or not as well-off as he should be.
"Anyway, her son's not having a great life with her. His last girlfriend was a model. He was really proud of her. She seemed to dote over him. She was so much fun, beautiful, popular, and she loved him. His mom thought so too. She loved her, and so did I. I'm the new girlfriend now, and she doesn't like me.
"I was never really close with her son before we started dating. We were well-liked and talked about a lot. She didn't have much of a clue what I was like. She started being much more rigid to me. She would criticize my clothes, my hair, and everything else that I did. That's because she tried to be in the spotlight for her son, but now he's not the only one. Now I'm in the spotlight for him.
"All she ever really cared about was that he had money, good looks, an apartment, and a ton of friends. She wants his friends to like her, wants them to like him. She wants more and more. Every date with her son should be a celebration. She should want to have fun with me and compliment me. She should want to take pictures of us together for her long-time memory, but she doesn't.
"So now you're getting the full story. I like him a lot, but I don't know if I can be with him.
"I like that he can be a kind man. He can be the life of the party, but I think he's even nicer to hanging out with one person. I like that he doesn't like many people, and likes me. I like that his mom knows him so well. I like that he always has her approval. I like that he took me out to his favorite Italian place. I like that he knows all of my favorite foods. I like that he cooked me dinner. I mean, I like that he's my boyfriend, but it's not going to work out. They make it work, but not us.
"So this story is actually about the fact that I like him, but I don't think we can make this relationship work. The whole story is about how I'm here with him, but I don't think I can be with him. It's about whether or not I can stick it out, and about being comfortable in that relationship. It's about having the courage to be out in the open, to be with him, but not wanting to be. It's about being distrustful."
"That's so hard!" I said, thoughtfully. "You don't want to be, but you don't even know if it would be possible.
"At the same time, he doesn't want me to be open, and doesn't want to be open. They want to keep everything secret. They don't want anyone knowing that they're a couple. We should be able to go out and about as a couple. She should be happy for me when I go out and about with him, but she's not.
"It's hard to let go, and it's hard to be with them. They want us to act like we're a proper couple. They want us to act like we're a family. They want us to act like we're friends with benefits, but we're not. We're actual friends, with benefits. We're a friendship with benefits."
"When I was his friend, I couldn't understand why he got so mad at her. No, when he was still being mean to his mom. I didn't understand his feelings. I just thought that he was disgusted with the way she was, so I supported him.