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You walk through the former botanical gardens, now dead and arid. The frost-tipped weeds crunch under your feet. Today is a bad day.
You've been having a lot of bad days.
In the train station you used to call home, before you gave up and went out on your own, you once saw a large painting of a man standing alone on a beach. The painting's name was Man on a Beach by Edward Hopper.
You remember how that picture had suddenly pierced your heart with an overwhelming sadness. There were words written on the lower right corner:
''I am in no hurry. I am simply wondering what to do next. This feeling will go away in a while, but I do not hurry it. I wait.''
You also remember that you moved away from the train station to get out of the cold.
At this time your phone rings. You answer it.
''Hey girl. It's Kayla here.''
''I know.'' you say, feeling that this is one of those days that you won't have time to go out and have dinner with Kayla.
''Man, the train's on time now.''
''Yeah,'' you say.
''Why are you always so gloomy?'' she says.
''I'm not always...'' you start to say. You know this will lead to a lecture, to a rant, to an argument. Kayla's one of those people who would rather lecture you than talk to you.
''I'm sorry, I...'' you start to say, knowing that you have nothing to be sorry for and that there is nothing you can do about being gloomy. You are gloomy sometimes. Life is gloomy sometimes. Kayla is gloomy sometimes. You're on a train station platform, you're outside in the garden, you're on a beach... you're always gloomy. There's nothing else to do.
''You know what I'm doing now?'' Kayla says.
You're on a beach... you're always gloomy. There's nothing else to do.
''No,'' you say.
''I'm out with Junie now.'' Kayla says, ''We're on our way to the secondhand store. Junie's really into girly stuff now.''
You don't know what to say. You don't actually care, because this is one of those days that you won't have time to go out and have dinner with Kayla.
''Has Junie been complaining a lot again?'' you ask.
''Yeah, girl,'' she says, ''You have to do something about her.''
''I've been trying,'' you say. You're on a beach.
''I know,'' she says, ''but if you ask me, I can't find the right time to bring it up.''
You don't know what to say. You don't actually care, because this is one of those days that you won't have time to go out and have dinner with Kayla.
''You should find a way to do something with Junie.'' She says, ''Otherwise, she'll want to get rid of you.''
You don't know what to say. You don't actually care.
''Hey man, you're all over the place today,'' you say. Today your imagination is taking a day trip.
''I'm just worried about this biker gang,'' she says.
''What about the biker gang again?'' you ask.
''They're acting really weird lately. Kayla says.
''There are no more biker gangs!'' you say.
''Kayla says otherwise.''
You don't know what to say. You don't actually care, because this is one of those days that you won't have time to go out and have dinner with Kayla.
''Look, I...'' Kayla says, ''I'm just worried about you, that's all.''
You don't know what to say. You don't actually care, because this is one of those days that you won't have time to go out and have dinner with Kayla.
''Remember your friend in the mountains?'' she asks, ''you said you wanted to visit her. I haven't seen her for a couple years now. Maybe she's still up there. You should check it out too.''
You don't know what to say. You don't actually care, because this is one of those days that you won't have time to go out and have dinner with Kayla.
''No luck today,'' you say.
''Well, maybe if you went to that mountain she mentioned you would find her.'' Kayla says.
You don't know what to say. You don't actually care, because this is one of those days that you won't have time to go out and have dinner with Kayla.
You look at the sky. It's black. It's cold.
There's no sun. There's no sky. There's just a wall.
It's a big wall.
The sunset is blocked.
There's no sun.
There's no sky.
You don't know what to say. You don't actually care, because this is one of those days that you won't have time to go out and have dinner with Kayla.
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