I didn't see this post until now, 2 days later, but it resonated with me - I could have written this. It's the story of my life. I had dozens of friends at my wedding, some in the wedding party, I don't even talk to anymore and haven't seen in years. I felt I was thoughtless but you're probably right, life moves on. But as you age and your social circle shrinks you realize how much you've lost. I recently reconnected with one colleague but the process is slow because we no longer work side by side. This was a thoughtful, honest reflection on life and I was touched by reading it.
Thanks John. I would suspect it's pretty common for people entering the late-summer/early autumn of their years to feel this way. For me, at 55, I feel like I've lived several lifetimes already when I think about it. I've carried some lingering guilt or anger about the "hard-stops" in friendships over the years but I've learned to make peace with it. For me, most friendships have to be fed with new shared-experiences to keep them going. Except for very rare cases the friendship withers if there is any kind of distance or long breaks in making those new experiences. I think this is why the pandemic wrecked so many peoples' social lives. My wife and I talk frequently about how few friends we have as a couple and how there's only a small portion of those few we can count on—only two or three. It's exhausting to try to make plans with anyone because most are so wishy-washy and often cancel or are "booked out" for weeks. We used to go out with large groups of friends before 2020 and plans were spontaneous and there was rarely a shortage of things to do. We're in the process of making some new friends now and it's been great to connect with new people and make new memories.