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Some of you have read my earlier posts about how I experienced something technically known as Sudden Hearing Loss Syndrome (SHLS). I literally woke up deaf after months of odd symptoms like vertigo attacks, extreme fatigue, and flu-like symptoms.
Aside from the obvious physical and emotional repercussions of suddenly losing one's hearing, I encountered a number of strange and unexpected challenges. Being deaf was something that I had never considered happening to me. In fact I had never given much though to deafness at all and just considered it something that people were born with or that they may get due to a serious physical trauma. So, when I became suddenly deaf myself, I found myself woefully unprepared to navigate the obstacles that every day life presented.
One such obstacle was going to the fast food drive-thru. I have always hated packing a lunch and so each day at work, I would look forward to my little escape out of the office to get my lunch at the Wendy's or Burger King drive-thru. After becoming deaf, habits became an important mental coping strategy as so many things in my life had drastically changed, that I felt comfort in clinging to the known.
That very first week I became deaf, and still continued to show up at work everyday as was my habit, at lunchtime, I drove my car on the familiar route to the drive-thru. It was only once that I had pulled into the long line that formed at lunchtime, that I began to realize that I was not going to be able to hear anything the other person was saying. Still, I reasoned that I could still speak my order, and I knew the amount that was due and would just have it ready. I'd say "Please" and "Thank you" and smile and say something cheerful to the person at the window and then be on my way with my food. No problem.
For some reason, I decided to order a chicken sandwich that day and as the person on the other end of the speaker continued to ask me some question I had no chance in the world of hearing, I feverishly spouted off every imaginable answer that a drive-thru personnel might like to hear: "No, just the sandwich, not the meal", "Oh, no fries", "No, thanks I don't want cheese on that", "No drink", "Just whatever comes on it is fine", etc.
My anxiety began to grow as the line of cars behind me lengthened and the drive-thru worker was becoming increasingly frustrated. Perhaps they thought they thought they were the victim of a prank at this point. Finally I was forced to admit to a strange voice that I could not understand what they were asking because I was deaf. I pleaded with them to please just sell me the chicken sandwich and not ask me any more questions.
About 30 seconds later, the door popped open and an older guy limped towards my car. My anxiety swelled to new heights and my face turned bright red as impatient drivers behind me began honking and some peeled out of the line and drove away. The older man stopped at my window and began doing sign language with me. I nearly began to cry and tried to explain to him that I had just become deaf and did not know sign language. After a few seconds of confusion, he seemed to understand, although I don't think he could hear me either. I pointed to the one in the picture and somehow came to the realization that he wanted to know if I wanted crispy, spicy, or grilled. I answered the question and quickly got my sandwich and left.
I didn't go back there for a while just out of embarrassment. I think that was one of the hardest days for me at that time. The realization that your life has changed in a way that inhibits your ability to function is very mentally difficult. Now that I have gotten a very powerful hearing aid and a cochlear implant, I am able to once again use the drive-thru. I still mishear them sometimes, but most of the time I do very well. It's been more than 2 years since that incident and I can still remember the feelings of embarrassment, anxiety, and despair that I felt at that moment. Another part of me can view it from the perspective I have today and realize how fortunate I am to be living in a time where technology and science helped me so much. I can also laugh a little bit because it was a little comical and sometimes you have to laugh at life or else life will laugh at you.
I can't imagine what that would be like. You sound so matter of fact about it.
Well that can certainly give you a different perspective and make for some interesting posts.
Thanks for sharing
I'm not going to lie, it was a very difficult time for me. I basically had to live with a 90 decibal loss in both ears for about 4 months before my insurance would pay for a more powerful hearing aid. Then it was another six months after that before I had the cochlear implant. I kept pinching myself because I literally thought I was living in some nightmare. It didn't seem like it could be real.
I'm in a much better place now though and wanted to share my experiences so that other people that may experience something like this can take comfort that things can get better. I feel stronger as a person for having gone through that experience and survived.
I could feel the anxiety building as I was reading this, I can't imagine what it would be like to have sudden hearing loss, and no offense, but I hope I never have to experience it. Thank you so much for sharing your story, I would have never even thought about ordering food at a drive thru being difficult for someone. BTW...
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That sounds wonderful. Please feel free to share. I'd like for others to know that sudden deafness is more common than people realize and that it is not the end of the world. I'll be writing more posts on what family and friends can do to help people if this ever happens to someone they love.
Great! Thanks so much for getting back to me! I will be keeping an eye out for more from you. You've got my attention for sure.
Amazing. Thank you for sharing this. it helps me understand I should not to take any of my senses for granted. I think you are very brave.
And yes, I always CRINGE when I see people blaring music from their phones into their ear pods or cars that make my house shake. Although that is not what caused my hearing loss, I feel bad knowing these people will pay the price for this eventually.
Thanks. I don't know if it is bravery exactly, but more like having no choice and having to make the best of things. I certainly would not wish this happening to anyone. In the beginning it was probably the toughest. For me, one of the worst parts was the social aspect. I'm probably not the most social person and was always a little socially awkward even before this happened. AFTER this happened, every social interaction turned into a horrifying ordeal for me. Nothing is worse than having to choose between having a possibly awkward encounter with someone you are having a nominal interaction with (like paying at the check-out), or having to tell them that you are deaf. If you just say you are deaf, the person seems to expect that because you are able to speak and trying to interact with them as a "normal person", that you must be able to read lips or something. That sometimes made it necessary to explain that it just suddenly happened, which led to understandable confusion and looks of disbelief and sometimes pity on the other person's part. All of that made me feel even more self-conscious. I just wanted to live me life and not have to tell every stranger I encountered my story because frankly, it was not a story I felt good telling.