Hello lovelies and welcome to todays episode of Let's talk #2. Let's talk was created basically for people to air their views on topics around about relationship, love and what have you! Where any comment that is unique will be used to make another post mentioning that particular person.
Our first issue was on An ideal partner and @golddeejay's comment was picked to be used on let's talk #2.
Here was @golddeejay's comment:
My ideal partner will be a lady who is not choking and all over me...
We can be all loved up when we together but she should live her own life while I live mine. Not someone that will be bugging me over every call or someone I talked to.
Be independent, do your own thing and when we back together we refresh the magic.
To me, that's sexy...that's ideal.
After I read through that comment, it struck me real hard and this was my reply to him:
Wow! It's so amazing for a guy to think of a lady in this way. I am very glad at this. Some ladies believe that being all clingy and all is a way to keep their man, but you have proven otherwise my friend.
Thank you very much as your comment will be used to make another post and this will be mention that your comment inspired it! Wonderful right? Thank you for your reply.
The choky/ clingy partner.
Well to some people the clingy partner is everything to them while to others it's a turn off. On the other hand, there are people who might feel their partner is not into them if s/he is not clingy- controversial right?
A clingy/choky partner is one that shows up at every point in time, mostly with out invitations, at weird times and when they do not need to be there. This could appear creepy in a way and when frequent makes the other partner sick and tired.
Well we will see more at the comments. Meanwhile this is what I feel about a clingy partner as this could come from any of the partner in a relationship.
You actually have a life
I do not know what you think about this, but I for one do not think a partner should be all over the other like they do not have a life. I mean, monitoring every call, who called and for how many minutes, and knowing who called and for what reason and all of that.
Streaming it down, I think every lady should also be productive in her own way and forget the whole drama of wanting to know so much while men should learn not to be too controlling and wanting to always know who she talks to and all what's not.
This I suppose when to much can cause so much issues in the relationship and trust might begin to mar. For instance, a friend of mine who is engaged with her fiance all of a sudden got tired and decided to break the engagement. Her reasons were that her fiance is always monitoring and calling to ask where she is, even when he knows her whereabout.
In my opinion, these acts can choke your partner and s/he would begin to feel you have trust isues. Please do not get it wrong, it's not a bad thing that you should check up and visit but when over done it becomes a problem. Sometimes people need space and if you are always there it becomes more like you invade their privacy. @golddeejay feels that every woman should be independent and do her thing and not being a pest if I may paraphrase that.
Please please ladies and gentlemen, the message is love your man or lady but do not choke him/her... hmmm what a word- "choke!". Well choke yourselves not!
sometimes it's creepy right?
There would be more respect for you there than when you keep acting like a monitoring spirit. Well to the men, respect and understand your lady. If you feel she is being choky call her to order and have a talk with her. However if as a man you are being choky, stop it and listen to your woman when she is able to talk to you about it. Remember that good communication is key to every relationship.
So I would stop here and allow you my friends and readers have the ground at the comment session. Tell us what you think about a choky/clingy partner and how to go about this in your own opinion. Bear in mind that your opinions count and matter a lot.
Join me @gloglo on let's talk as we discuss on issues that matters to us. You are welcome on here.
Image Credit: GOOGLE
A clingy partner is a No No for me. My opnion though and I stand to be corrected.
A clingy partner speaks inferiority
A clingy partner means they are insecure
A clingy partner end up being abusive either physically, emotionally, financially or mentally. Then use the act of being clingy to cover up and cajole their partner into believe whatever abuse is done out of love.
A clingy partner births a toxic relationship. A toxic relationship is a killing relationship and for me, that will be signing a death warrant.
Therefore, clingy in any form is a No No.
Thanks for this awesome topic.
I couldn't have agreed less here. I think being clingy births these things because such partner has subjected he/rself to a lot of human error. When you are always present you tend to see things that might not be okay with you.
This is worse while they are not married and still dating. You begin to feel so unsure of your stance in the relationship. Actions starts speaking louder than voice and more of human errors and vices becomes unbearable. Thank you for that wonderful comment.
Myself and other four guys were actually together reading this page.
Four of us have same view, as in we would prefer to have such a lady that gives too much rather than one that doesn't care to show up at all.
Nice one @gloglo
A clingy partner isn't toxic but an obsessed one.
I am someone that is finding it difficult to call these days. I have not been a fan of calls, but recently its getting worse. I prefer to receive text or chats than call. Now having such partner that gives me a clingy or choky posture, i call such guming. I will run for my life. It is good when you both have something to do differently and still something to do together. It helps and bring respect than doing the clingy thing. Thank you @gloglo.
Thank yoh @turpsy for your comment. I was thinking every man love tge chase... lol. Well good a thing to know all men and women ain't the same.
Thing is if you see something that does not interest you, you don't wait right?
Thank you so much my friend for this honest comment.
Sometimes I feel "clingy" because I like to be HELD.
There is nothing wrong with needing to be held. I am very certain of this.
And that fact is very different from being "needy" or being untrusting, or insecure.
So I hope we all understand how essential it is just to be held, trusted and cared for.. daily.
And I have no regrets for that need, and I state it openly.
THAT said, I have no room in my life for a jealous, untrusting and invasive partner.
Trust takes time to find and build but if not honored when established, then there is little basis for a relationship.
I honestly understand that being held and cared for is all the packages that comes with a reltationship. But being clingy or choky is like trying to wear a person's body. It's like creeping one out and wanting to overdo things.
I hope I was able to explain what clingy in this context means. Am sure no one would want that on the long run but it is totally different from being held or cared for which is totally normal.
Thank you @surfyogi for the support and encouragement always.
Thank you @gloglo for the mention.
When it comes to relationship, there is no standard. It all depends on who you are. Your personality will determine who and what you will be okay with.
I like my space a lot, I believed it has to do with me been an introvert. I like been in my head most times. I have sometimes been accused of been unemotional. I can be wild and crazy occasionally but I would require some push.
Temperament should be put into perspective when choosing a partner to avoid unnecessary conflicts.
I was once an introvert too. But not anymore, Lol
I want to believe situation or your environment turned you to one in the first place. We do adjust based on certain things but rarely change.
INTROVERT
...is a shy and quiet person who does not find it easy to talk to other people.
Temprament is another factor. Hmm I read so much on temperament it almost started begging me. I think you are right.
Clingy Partner?
This will weak me down, does staying so close and tight all time determines your love to him/her? No
90% of guys want to live their life freely without being checked up and down like what are you doing, who are you calling and all that.
Through this, something else will come in, Jealousy.
Immediately jealousy comes in, the relationship will definitely have a weak point whereas it already has a weakness right from time which is clingyness.
As for me, i will love to be free from all form of clingy, because when you distance yourself from this act, you will be free and you wont have anything to bother you about your partner, perhaps through clingy you will start checking his phone late night to see his conversation and from there matters arises.
I wont allow clingyness because I would not want to see my lady been jealous of any form of relationship i keep.
Through jealousness, there will be linkage in the relationship which may result to break up. So i wont allow that.
Thank you very much @bollutech. I hooe some ladies realises that almost all men do not like to be chased around. This in the real sense of the world bores one up.
Jealousy can cause heartache and serious issues. For a guy this migt be mild but a lady especially the clingy type will see so many things because she is always there and this might make her griw so jealous that she starts behaving not too good.
Thank you for your honest answer. Stay connected on our next episode.
you are most welcome @gloglo i hope some of our ladies will give birth to a new way of thinking to change this. but what i just see in this is that all ladies have this act of clingyness and jealousy it only has limit..... all ladies have this jealous side of them .
I was at one time a jealous man..
It served no purpose and did not make my life better!
I grew out of it quickly, my lady will do as she please, she will love me or not, it is her decision and I can only help her choose to love me.
Hello @surfyogi you have to let her understand some things that you have moved put of, she might be thinking you are living the life she knows less about, remember she's your wife. Be good, Man!
Like you said some people like clingly people and some dont,it depends on people thou,but i sure dont like clingly people at all,it makes the other partner feels caged,like he or she is in a prison,it kills a relationship faster,when you are clingly in a relationship,it so make the relationship tiring and boring,even someone that loves a clingy person get tired after sometimes,being clingy does not mean your partner wont cheat on you,all you need is trust and effective communication
Oh dear @switmag. I think I would really love to meet you some day, very intelligent and interesting comment you've got there sweet.
Well I guess it all goes down to one thing- too much of everything is bad.
Strong one!
Thank you for your comment. I think we will be developing on your comment on the next episode. Thank you for your honest comment here.
Awwwww,same here,the feeling is mutual
You are very right, a choky/clingy partner make relationship tiring and frustrating. Trust should be established by both partners also good communication to reduce the situation. If both partner don't reach a consensus ad idem then the relationship is a misfit and won't last long
I believe communicatoon is key. If there is non of that. I am afraid. Thank you for being here , hope to see you on the next issue.
You've said it all @gloglo what do you want us to say again?😁😁
On a serious note, a clingy partner is the same thing as a possessive partner. A possessive partner is controlling, authoritative, jealous and can even harm you but that's the extreme.
Now some people are clingy not because they want to be but they have suffered so much heartbreak in their past relationships and somehow they tend to believe it was because they didn't place a monitoring camera over him or her that's why she/he was cheated on and now ain't ready to let that happen again whereas some people are naturally clingy perhaps their upbringing.
A clingy partner in the beginning is all fun until it starts feeling like you are placed in a box with no air and you are suddenly choking. It strains the relationship. The questions keeps coming. What are you? Who are you with? Where are you going to? Naturally, the other partner feels caged and is no longer free to express him or herself because they don't know what they will say that my be used against them in the court of law then the lies sets in just for peace to reign. The calls gets ignored and this increases the problem then they start avoiding each other and then then the relationship crumbles.
No matter what your intentions is, we all love a little space. Distance they say makes the heart grows fonder and over familiarity breeds contempt. Every guy deserves a time out to hangout with the guys and have fun. he is not your husband. Every lady deserves a time out to have fun with her girlfriends, she is not your wife. A woman or man that will stick with you will, you don't have to place a monitoring on them.
It's like I've said so much. So long dear. Ciao can come
Wow,nice one ooo,bob-elr pls come and read this
I also think you should read up again my dear 'cos you are still saying amen to the same prayer.
Clap Clap Clap @zizymena,
This is cool. But i'm still concerned the wrong meaning given to my friend @clingy.
Everyone is tagging him bad for the offence he hasn't committed and he's about be punished unjustly.
Let's look out for @obsession and tag her for this deed. She should pay for her sin not Clingy again.
A clingy partner is an obsessive partner. They have same attributes just that an obsessive partner can actually go to the extreme of killing just to have you to themselves
No darling, a clingy partner isn't obsessed. See below the meaning of clingy.
Holding to something or someone very tightly
To stay very close to someone for emotional support, protection and so on,
To stick to something or someone.
So how does this becomes obsession?
While I read your comment my large eyes were just fixed hoping you wouldn't stop. I love where you said:
It happens that tgere are some partner who intentionally hold you on everyword and twust them that theysound like a lie. Funny how stuffs can blow in a drastic situation.
So far so good on here I don't see anything cool with being clingy. Thank you very much gurl. Intelligent comment you gave us here. Hope to see you come back with more of those.
Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed reading my input
TRUST!
Great article, this really gets down to the real points in life!
If a woman will not give me space to live my life, I have no patience..
and if she respect me and my own personal life, I love her the most!
The is the point, all requires being with the right person and understanding such person as well.
Nothing kills faster than a toxic relationship, except maybe a bullet.
A toxic relationship kills faster than grenade. It dries and lives one to nothing, empty and insignificant. It taks time to recover. Clingyness cuases jealousy to trust issues to fights to headaches to breakup. All this fused together can kill a weak person.
Thank you for being here, hope to see you in the next issue.
It is the fear of what will happen if the relationship ends that keeps people in it. Once people realise that nothing worse than the toxic feeling that comes with a toxic relationship will happen, then they are better off single.
I hope people realise this, man-up from such relationsand be free. I see no reason why anyone should be unhappy and still remain because of fear of what ever will happen.
Well some people know how to tie their life around people. Unhealthy thing go do.
I like it when my man can call to check on me, call me to discuss some certain things, be on the phone for almost an hour or even more just talking.
But I hate it when he becomes too clingy.
I admit I love attention but he should be able to draw the line between giving me attention and being too clingy.
What I will do when he gets too clingy
I love to talk about anything that bothers me. Communication is key to relationships. For me to be in any relationship, we must first establish good communication. I will definitely discuss it with him if he becomes too clingy. Everything is fixable over good communication.
Very wonderful @gee1, I think most ladies like this attention a whole lot... lol. Well I think I understand you well at this point. There should be a line between attention and clingyness. Thank you for this wonderful comment darling.
Even men like it too. But we no dey shout am. Make una give us.
Hahhaha. Don't worry your "she" won't hesitate to give you Bob.
ha ha ha laughing out loud..
Relationships suck!!!!! @gloglo Just waste of time
Wow! What do I say to this. I figured you have had a pretty rough one in the past. Am sorry about that. But even though you feel that way there are people who still love their relationship okay.
Maybe you work towards a better relationship soon. Wish you all the best.
Some girls are just something else ,well thanks @gloglo i hope i find love soon
You will. I know you will soon. All the best.
@pappy you'll find love soon
Just keep an open mind....
I don't think so ,drop your digits @vheobong
Well this cling dont really have much solution, firstly much love brings about choke and cling...
Best method is to bring in your partner in what ever that makes you very busy. Example, teach her about steemit , cling will be over
Haha... then you will see her all over your comment box saying -I agree love!😁 That's how bad it can get. But that would be a thrill though. Steemit might help curb 😎.
My great professor, i'm not just happy that you also tag my friend a bad guy. I give you Obsession in place to release cling for me.
Lol but i will be great fun. Go meetups together, feel the same pain and the same success... Got the same less attention, she closes your lapi for attention, you close hers, then love will start...lol. no one will wil choke since choke is now simultaneous
Lol. Then it becomes a game of the the choker and the chokee 😁.
Anyways these things can happen and might become fun for people.😊
lol
hahaha igwe has said another thing ooo
I believe each relationship has different dynamic all that matters is understanding, each partner should try to study and understand the other and know what they want. On a personal note though, there are times when I want my partner being all over me and there are times I just want each person to be on their own lane. So, it all boils down to understanding.
Mutual understanding and maturity right?
Sometimes I need my space, and sometimes I just want her to beg me to give her attention, it's all good!
Hahaha... I get that feeling. Like you said, "sometimes" and not everytime. Well it depends on the kind of woman, if it's one that love the full attention and you want her to beg you for it, that might really be a serious case.
I think we really have to understand the kind of person we are with in order to make things work and romantic too.
If she's choky then it's impossible. I don't need to know who she's calling every time she's on the phone. She'll definitely tell me if she wants me to know. I don't have to know where she is at all time, she'll naturally tell me when I don't ask her.
That's how I want her to be. But what if she's choky? Disturbing at all time? Always wanting to know everything like a monitoring spirit?
What I think about such people is that they are likely insecure and also have serious trust issues. I will try to avoid the trouble and also have a talk with her. But if it persists, then I'll have no choice but to find my way...
Thank you very much. Amazing how some habits can turn things around right? Funny thing is these people feel this is their own way of showing they love a person. But at the long run people will begin to want their privacy and all that.
Thank you very much @mr-aaron. We hope to see you on our next episode.
I'll definitely be around... I see this topic has made most people come out of their shells to speak out about how they feel.
I must say am glad about it. That is what life should be like right? To be able to say your mind with reservations and the right to speech and ideas.
That's true. Make impact. Don't stop.
wow supper post my dear gloglo.i really like your post.every day i wite for your post.so very nice.
Thank you very much.
Excellent post good article and photography dear @gloglo
i really like your post ...good job
Time to be clingy or chocky i don't have
Strength to be clingy or chocky i still don't have.
Relationships call for interdepency.
We have our individual spaces but when we are together we enjoy our world.
@gloglo to be sincere a large number of people go into relationships with trust issues and this is the foundation of chockyness or clingyness...
Solution is simple.....