There isn’t anything I refuse to discuss in therapy, like nothing in particular that I’m avoiding but feel I should be facing.
That said, there are some topics that I think would just be super awkward to talk about with M. Those are nitty gritty body image stuff and marital intimacy. It’s not that I wouldn’t talk about those things. I just think it would be really awkward and embarrassing.
I also don’t feel a huge need to delve into those topics, and I think that’s where part of the awkwardness comes from. I can easily talk about marital intimacy stuff with my husband, so not much need to involve a third party. And… I don’t really give how I look much thought other than I generally like what I see in the mirror and feel comfortable with the body I have. So again, I think talking about it with M would be awkward because there isn’t the need to talk about it. But if I ever had an actual need to address these issues in therapy, then I would bring them up and go there with M.
One thing I have really appreciated about M is that he has never commented on my physical appearance. He won’t even say anything if I got a haircut. If I say something about it, he’ll engage, but he won’t bring it up. I’ve really appreciated that because I felt that growing up way too much was made of my physical appearance, how I looked, how I dressed, that I was beautiful enough to be a model (and why didn’t I want to go to modeling school anyway?). So I really love having relationships with people where other than an occasional “You look nice today!” there’s no discussion about how we should all look our best to make a good impression, and do I meet expectations in that department, etc. And I love having that be completely absent in my relationship with M. So weird how great healing can come through what’s never brought up.
And… maybe I should talk to M about that last paragraph, at least let him know I appreciate him so much in that regard.