So recently I had major reconstructive surgery done to my right shoulder. For me to write on hive I'm using voice to text, I will try to be as diligent and vigilant as I can be about spell checking before posting my blog entries.
My shoulder was busted up like this for three and a half years or so. Back then I was running and going and doing some dumb stuff. My drug counselor calls what I just said running and gunning. Being swept up in our addictions and making horrible decisions. And he isn't wrong because man I wish I would have made some different choices when I was younger but I digress, the things that happened to me when I was younger what I went through all of the experiences.
These trials and tribulations are the very things that forced me to be forged anew. In my life was idiocracy at its finest. Sometimes I didn't even know why I was doing the crazy crap I was doing, but looking back on it now if I could go back and change anything I don't think that I would because I love the man I have became.
I try to stay humble and kind-hearted even though God knows I have every reason you can think of to be jaded and cold and calloused. But that's not what my son would want for me that's not what my mother would want for me. And I'm a very firm believer that you go through these experiences his trials these tribulations that beat you to your knees and relentlessly bash your face in.
To see if you got what it takes to stand up to smile with the blood dripping down your lip and ask for more I mean it's not about how hard you can hit it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. It's about knowing that what they see when they look at you. (Addict, theif, loser, peice of shit.) And what you see when you look in the mirror and see your reflections staring back at you. Are not one and the same.
That you are willing to change that you can commit to it that you can make the necessary decisions to push past it all and achieve your dreams. That's how winning is done. If you believe what they say about you, you will never become a winner. You will never push past the stigmata. The stagnant waters. Now ask yourself. Am I a loser? Am I willing to make the changes, the sacrifices. ?
The extra hours, being exhausted. The loneliness the heartache the pain the struggle. Am I willing to go through this to get to where I need to be to achieve my hopes and my dreams? Well if you are, if you're like me and you're just fed up and you're ready for that change to become something real and true. Then break Free Base your doubts and your insecurities and push through those boundaries only you can become your own champion you're the only one in control of your fate so whatever it is you want to do just make sure at the end of the day, you're all into it and that it will be great. And the world's not all rainbows and shown sunshine and the world is mean and dirty and cruel is very trying and all you can do is be the best you.
Envision yourself as Midas and touch your future and turn it to gold. You can have everything you've ever dreamed of all you got to do is believe in the powers that you behold.