Hello, hello, beautiful selfless and selfish people!
Today I'll write a few lines because I've disappeared from this blog for a while now.
In between enjoying nice, hot weather, some holiday here and there, I've been extremely busy with moving from Austria back home, in Romania.
Guys, I'm so freaking happy to be finally at home among the people who make me feel safe, and loved! Also, since September, I'm older. I'm 33 now, and hopefully, wiser. Jesus Christ!!! Time is flying so fast! Wrinkles become more seeable than last year, and I STILL haven't fucked with anyone! But, hey, got a lot on my plate right now, and more meaningful stuff to fix and to do. Like, arranging my apartment, new health insurance, the technical inspection of my car, paying the bills, getting ready for Mexico to see T, and the most important, finding new business ideas (which I did, but, for the moment, I prefer not say anything about it). Momentary, it's time for me to be relentless, brutal, in getting what I want for my future, and that's all that matters, and what got me focused.
Even though I like to consider myself a hard as nails person, sometimes, I'm just tired of having more past than future. I know that I am resilient and, I can adapt to any circumstances that may be good or bad, but I'm also aware that I can avoid some bad choices. Now, I've accepted that I can't connect with so many of my friends because they only liked me if I fitted inside their box. I had some poisonous friendships in which my friends were also my haters. Being divided in between not giving up on my best friend who I loved, and coming to terms with the fact that that person no longer exists in my life, or it was just the fruit of my imagination of creating a best friend because deep inside I was too afraid of being lonely, it's complicated and painful. It took me quite a while to recover and move on, but I've learned not to chase after people's friendship anymore. I'm content in my own company, and people will always come and go from my life anyway, but, unfortunately, the more I learn about people, the more I want to stay away from them. It looks like, the older I get, the more I realize that I don't want to be surrounded by drama, conflict, stress, and people with more faces.
Let's not whisper "WTF" to ourselves; God knows how many times per day, ladies!
What flows, flows, and what crashes, crashes!!!
Stay strong, stay positive.
Luv, M.
P.S: My story is most likely a mess today, and you'll not get the main idea, but while cleaning my house, all of these thoughts came in my mind, and I took a short ciggie break, and write them down. So don't be too harsh on me.