THE TRUTH (April Fools Joke)

in #truth6 years ago (edited)

Picture


I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore.

Almost 10 months ago, I joined Steemit with only one goal: To keep people from learning the truth. I wrote posts about vaccines, cancer, misguided conspiracy theorists, how to manipulate statistics and other topics. I drew in readers by writing fiction stories and then turned more and more scientific.

I am regarded as one of the most trustworthy people on the blockchain.

But it is all a lie. This is not me. This is me.

You see, I’m not even a woman. Everything you thought you knew about me was a lie.

I didn’t join Steemit to have a larger audience for my stories, and I didn’t stay for the community. I stayed because I was being paid for it. Not through the rewards on my posts, not mainly. Those were a nice pocket money.

But no, the real money came from Big Pharma. I’m a professional writer, who was hired by them to spread untruths, to support their standing and success in our world. And you people ate it up, happily! Believing my every word!@suesa

The money I earned over the past few months would have been enough to let me live comfortable for the rest of my life.

But as Steem price dropped, so did the interest of Big Pharma. The Steem blockchain is getting less and less interesting for them, and they’ve been paying me less and less the past few weeks. You might have noticed that my posting frequency dropped. That’s not because I’m working on my “bachelor thesis”, it’s because I’m not paid well enough anymore to post daily.

And who of you believed the whole story about me being a biology student working on her bachelor’s degree anyways? I can’t believe anyone fell for that. Who has ever seen an undergraduate write like I did on this blog? Who lets ’s an undergraduate work with mice, or, even worse, CRISPR/Cas9?

I just said this to test my credibility. And you believed it.

With the declining support from Big Pharma, I slowly stopped seeing a reason to keep spreading their lies, especially because it has been hard on my consciousness. I know that, after publishing this post, I will be forced to go into hiding. You will probably not hear from me, ever again. I already started the process of powering down all my Steem Power, to have some funds.

I hope they won’t catch me, although I am almost certain that, one day, they will. They always do.

Nobody is safe.

And you most certainly aren’t either.

Be careful

~ “Suesa”





I hope you all realize, that today is the 1st of April and that this was an April fool’s joke. Also, the picture of the man has been taken from pixabay.com, just as the cover picture. Wishing you who celebrate it a happy Easter and everyone else a nice day! Title has been edited on April 2nd 6:41 am GMT+2

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Hah, this is by far the best lie today :) I was about to make my confession too, but happily i have read the small print. So i will keep lying on and posting images that i did not take :)

Too many people don't read the small print

I had to look at the code in order to find out how you made your text
smaller
and smaller
and smaller

:P

How does one do that?
I have never been able to figure that out

Use nested < sub > < /sub> tags

Thanks a lot man!
Thanks
Thanks
Thanks

So in other words, if am not wrong, you are confessing coz they are paying you low?
I wonder what would have been the situation if they doubled your money.

You didn't read last lines of the post ......april fool! haha!

Aaaand you didn't read the small print.

Well, two times I am fooled, one by you and other by @acidyo :@

you need to step up your game then :P

The small print is too small to read...

Which was kind of the intention. And the reason one of the tags is "april-joke".

i dont even see the point of his confession, its isnt credible and it could all be a farce. So they dont pay you and you now want to tell the truth if they didnt you wouldnt. Hahahahahahahaha, what a joke?

Yes, that was what made the post interesting. Though I came late, only discovered it the 2nd day of April. I was reading and nodding my head like this is over for @suesa's steemit career and Bigpharma have a public image to clean up.

I actually finished reading and was about closing it when I saw the last line like writing. I thought it was a signature as people are used to here. Something piqued my curiosity to read it and I found out it was an April fools joke. And to think I even wrote one myself in the morning of that 1st April but totally missed this one.

https://steemit.com/truth/@oladokun/i-mistakingly-killed-my-father-sobbing-regretably

Yours is unique @suesa, creative and I like it. Do check mine if you have the time.

yes because most people seek the truth with minimal effort and they will never get away with it

I AM getting away with it. Muahahahahaha.

Yes, that was what made the post interesting. Though I came late, only discovered it the 2nd day of April. I was reading and nodding my head like this is over for @suesa's steemit career and Bigpharma have a public image to clean up.

I actually finished reading and was about closing it when I saw the last line like writing. I thought it was a signature as people are used to here. Something piqued my curiosity to read it and I found out it was an April fools joke. And to think I even wrote one myself in the morning of that 1st April but totally missed this one.

https://steemit.com/truth/@oladokun/i-mistakingly-killed-my-father-sobbing-regretably

Yours is unique @suesa, creative and I like it. Do check mine if you have the time.

April fool !!!ha ha ha

This is so it seems on truth. I after all believe people

I missed that !! it was a nice lie and now it's in top 10 trending

really interest me

@reggaemuffin Next time you should consider not buying 3 day worth of promotion for an April 1st joke.
;)

Once you can time promotion, I might just do that.
;)

lmao.....

@suesa how about you consider writing an article on 'THE TRUTH ABOUT LIES'
meanwhile you gat me there with the April fool stuff real good... hahahhaa

You have received a @GrumpyCat flag because you or someone else sent money to buy votes from an irresponsible non-GrumpyCompliant service.

@sneaky-ninja is acting irresponsibly by selling votes on posts very close to final payout. (Higher abuse rate)

Sending money to these bots is also financially supporting for-profit spammers.

To know what voting bot to use, refer to https://steembottracker.com/ and use those that have 3.5 day or less in the "Max Age" column.
Important, The above bots have made no effort to comply for months so the votes they sell might still be targeted even if they change their Max Age to 3.5 day.

Learn more ...

?

THE TRUTH

The guilt inside you has spoken.

Wish you luck.

April fool! haha.

Guess you didn't read the small print, or the tags

Just kidding, happy April fool, have fun.

You too :)

LOL

This comedy GOLD!

HA! GOOD TROLL.

Most of the people just don't read the small print

Perfect response to seeing the truth 💡

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how its done! ;)

It's a joke 😂👍

This is Amazing Article bro

First day i come up on this post...im like hmm

You see, I’m not even a woman. Everything you thought you knew about me was a lie.But it is all a lie. This is not me. This is me.

Well that went from 0-100 pretty quickly...

Lets continue..

I didn’t join Steemit to have a larger audience for my stories, and I didn’t stay for the community. I stayed because I was being paid for it.

Well most people post on Steemit for financial reasons...or have too much free time on their hands (me)

But no, the real money came from Big Pharma.

Ah....huh, this is definitely an april fool's joke

i must say you had me...until you got all Alex Jones on us...lol

subbed..

Cheers!

:P

Funny part @suesa...i wasn't wearing my glasses so i didn't even see the small lettering.
I guess i watch so much crap on the internet ( i work in finance so i research alot...so i need my dumb internet time to wind down)

When i saw Big Pharma...i was like...wait a minute...i smell a conspiracy theory.
i think i must unofficially be a conspiracy expert by now...watching this guy till 3am est almost every day. lol

tenor-1.gif

thanks again for the upvote
and Happy Easter!

Happy Easter to you too! :D

Almost 10 months ago, I joined Steemit with only one goal: To keep people from learning the truth.

I’m a professional writer, who was hired by them to spread untruths, to support their standing and success in our world.

The Steem blockchain is getting less and less interesting for them, and they’ve been paying me less and less the past few weeks.

I've been working for months as a professional flagger to suppress, hide and censor THE TRUTH and I always suspected that your account is used for similar purposes and that you are being paid for your activities (who would write posts so full of untruths without being paid for it?). And actually, I've the same problem: they are paying much less in recent months for flagging THE TRUTH!

Wololo!

(RandoHealer has healed this post because you have been randomly selected from the whitelist. Lucky!)

I can recommend a small island, totally off the radar. Please DM me.

hey bloom.. i notice you didnt like my post! well you are a professional flagger so i get it..

i WONDER.. have you actually done any research yourself on this? because i have!! It might be worth commenting before you flag sometimes! find out some of the truth? Did you watch the video? no i guess not?

oh well.. flag away!

WELL...WELL...I guess I should count it a privilege then--as a consummate "truther"--that you downvote every post I make.

Glad I grind your gears so consistently.

CHRIST! I swear you almost had me crying until...

I hope you all realize, that today is the 1st of April and that this was an April fool’s joke. Also, the picture of the man has been taken from pixabay.com, just as the cover picture. Wishing you who celebrate it a happy Easter and everyone else a nice day!

Cruel joke, lol! Happy Easter Queen of Science :D

I fell for it. I hate this day because I was easily fooled haha. By the way this a nice read never thought it was fake because of how you write it.

Thank you!

Hai, helo @suesa! Ini postingnya bagus.. follow.. 😀

You are a great writer indeed,i had almost fallen foe this and was begining to doubt my existence on Steemit,then dang you nailed it at the end.

I am sure many people will not read it to the end and especially the small formatted text! This is the first time i had fallen for this day's pranks hahahaha !

You might fake everything, but that hair was 100% proof you are real ;)

Why not right your wrong , rather than powering down?

It was an April Fools joke. If you check my wallet, you will see that I never started powering down :)

We Big Pharma have hacked this fellow @badmusgreene account to give you our reply. We know where you are and we are coming for you,it's not enough that you have broken your contract with us,finagled millions of dollars from us even worse you have ruined our plans to take over the world.We won't forget this @suesa .

Did not realize it was April Fool's day until it was too late, you got me good between Happy New month.

FUCK

Come back to us and all will be forgiven.

I don't trust you, I know how everything works behind the curtains. You won't fool me.

You got me, but not how you wanted to. Once I read the bit about you being here just for money I knew it was bullshit :)

No, I'm just oversensitive to people quitting because I'm half expecting everyone to, with the value as low as it is. So I read "I can't do this anymore" and thought the worst.

You are evil for making me think that :)

Woops :x

Big Pharma has ensured all chocolate geometry causes diabetes.

Our greatest achievement

Not sure this is a lie, an April Fool's Joke or whatever but I think you indeed made a good living from your posts on Steemit as far as what I heard and could see. So sure you can not complain, your posts are kind of scientific which is cool and required an audience. Obviously you also have some support by big boys which helps you here. Not starting to discuss if your posts are worth the rewards as this is a topic others may decide or hit on -at least i prefer to see your stuff in trending versus 90% of other stuff. Keep it coming @suesa - Du machst das gut, wirklich und Deine Posts haben zumindest Inhalt.

Danke :) Und ja, dieser post ist wirklich nur ein Aprilscherz.

I knew it! No Bachelor student writes better than me.

HAHAHAHA HOW BADLY DID IT DAMAGE YOUR EGO

now it is repaired :P

I knew it. This is not an april 1 joke its just reverse psychology to mess minnows mind more

Fucking knew it! Scientists always lying an shit!

I knew you were a boy!

Happy April fools!

Soooo, were you lying then or are you lying now? Give me a break. I'm no fan of Big Pharma, but does anyone actually believe this? You got paid to spread lies. When the money stopped, you decided to tell the truth? Really? Are you researching a novel and trying to see how people react to such a story? Even if this is an April Fools joke, it's a pathetic one.

I see you edited your comment.

Well, I had fun, a lot of people had fun, I think this was a successful April Fools joke :)

Really successful. I should know. 😂
I use glasses. Not that its an excuse. Jokes apart, the joke was well written.

Always check the date when something seems weird, always read the small print.

Why you lie at the first place ? To earn ? And now your conscious eating you up ? Steem made me a so called blogger. It doesnt pay me much cause my followers dont notice me much but it makes me happy when I wrote story . Oh well . People are different . And im not here to judge. It is your way .

I think you didn't read the small print at the end of the post. Or all of the tags. :)

Haha I guess so . Ma bad 😁😁😁😁

You're not the only one ^^

You lied to me! You lied to us all. But I will forgive you as you showed me the light and now did it once more. I won't believe in what the "scientists" tell me anymore.

What if it all was a lie???

I'm promoting this 'a bit'

All they do is lie to you, I'm sorry I kept it from you for so long. You deserve better.

I forgive you. May you find your own peace!

Very serious April fools joke! Huh!!!

I'm always super serious ;)

Wish I saw this yesterday. Good one :p.

Hah! I think the main problem here is that this is a global site, and I'm pretty sure the whole "April Fool's Day" thing is just a Western thing? Well played regardless!

At least most people got it ^^

Hey @suesa, although I like your joke and how you fooled all of your followers, I wanted to up vote it myself, but 900 SBD for a 1 April fools joke (with a spoiler in the title now) seems a little bit too high and doesn't seem fit if you would know that you could feed 450 children in the Philippines who starve to death on 1st april fools day with this pay out. I removed 4 cents. Sorry for that.

I mean, it's not like I paid any of these bots or asked for them. Reggaemuffin thought it'd be funny to have an april joke on trending, so he invested a good bit of money.
Not sure why you're hating on me specifically, as most trending posts are there because of bots, and that all the time. I've never paid a cent to a voting bot.

Hope that flag made you feel better, I don't really care, as I didn't expect a higher payout than I usually have on this post.

The reason for the flag I explain in the comment. I honestly didn't think you would see this as an attack and can only see the negative downside of the point I am making. Here is my 2 cent upvote since I do not 'hate' you. Bitch. <3

Oh, I didn't see it as an attack, just felt like you have a personal vendetta against me since the pixabay.com thing. But you do you.

I don't, no worries :-). The only personal vendetta I have is with myself from time to time, sorry if you thought that was about you.

I have honestly stopped caring that much if people on here have a problem with me or not. 364 days a year I try to produce quality content, don't self vote at all, never use vote bots and give all the time I have to steemSTEM and being a Moderator in steemit.chat, without really asking for anything back. And people still hate on me.
I can totally shrug off when people are unhappy with that one day of the year when I don't behave at my best. I said I don't really care and I don't, but not answering to your comments would mean actively ignoring you, and that's childish.

Nobody has anything personal against you @suesa just that the post is fucking dumb and deserves literally no payout. I get that it's April Fools and you tried to be funny but you failed, even Crypto Kitties are funnier than this shitpost.

Saying that $800+ is overvalued is obvious, the post doesn't deserve one fucking dollar since it brings no value. I think you might be a cool person but let the shitposting for others and stick to your quality content. Btw, April Fools is a stupid thing.

A minnow doesn't make that much in half a year, and as @rubencress said, you could help a lot of people with that money, and I firmly believe you should do it after you receive the payout.

So yeah, that's the argumentation for my small flag and this comment, the post is shit regardless of who paid for the votes or not, better donate that money since you don't deserve rewards for this post. Good luck. ;)

That's your opinion and you're entitled to it. I had fun with the post, several others did too. That's what I care about.

I get what you mean but it's still not deserving of that payout, I truly hope you're doing something useful with that money. We have plenty of projects/communities that are more deserving of the rewards than you for writing a 15-minute post if you get what I mean. :)

"that you could feed 450 children in the Philippines"

Got any other completely irrelevant facts you want to concern troll @suesa with?

It's ok, let him have his opinion. I really don't care what he thinks ^^

And it should always be like that. An opinion is always just an opinion, no one can/should judge an opinion other than their own. I would never spend time on someone I do not find worthy of my time, even if it seems to be negative. Either way, you do not have to assume that I do not see you're contributing a lot of time and dedication towards the community as well. I didn't think that I should point that out as it would basically mean that I would underestimate you.

I could understand your frustration about the huge, bought payout if I was someone who'd be constantly paying bots and raping the reward pool.
I still somewhat understand your frustration, even though I'm not such a person. Still, doesn't mean I agree with you. The payout is there, I expect some more flags to come in before it's time for payout, but that's Steemit. The part that's automatically powered up will stay powered up, the other part will either serve my education, as a reward of one of my contests, or to help someone I know on here out. I've actually sent out Steem to help others more than once - I just don't say anything about it, usually.

So no, I won't go ahead and give away all of what I'll earn with this post. I will just carry on trying to be a good member of the community. And that's actually more than most with such a high payout do (and I don't think I will ever have it again).

Nah, I am not frustrated at all. I know you don't buy upvotes from bid bots. And it is great to have someone who truly values you for what you do (but imo, not this post). I'd rather saw your mentorship post skyrocket like this instead for example.

I certainly did not state nor ask of you that you should/must give away your rewards, you are already doing so (delegation), and if I would, who am I to judge? That would go against my own norms and beliefs. I just made the statement that a pay-out like this 'could' feed 450 starving kids, and we ironically fool around with the reward pool. All I get from your replies is that you think I do not like you or tend to try to, basically only because I ragequit chat because I could not explain -myself, which had nothing to do with you or your opinion. That vendetta wasn't a joke.

Alright then, let's put an end to this discussion ^^

If you check my posts you might notice btw that I started crediting pixabay pictures to their creators a while ago, even though I didn't agree with your standpoint. But I'm putting in the extra work anyway.

And yea, I'd love to see my mentor post moon like this! But I'd actually prefer if it'd be the steemSTEM posts that land on trending (from the @steemstem account). Can't have everything I guess, can't have everything.

You have got to be kidding me, @rubencress. I'm frustrated at the bot problem too, but not only are there over 9000 (literally) other posts that have made the front page undeservingly, @suesa didn't buy her own votes and doesn't deserve this disrespect from you. Go back and read what you wrote and please, suggest to me how it doesn't sound like just a terrible thing to say to someone.

If you're going to go around guilting people with starvation statistics, at least throw them at people who aren't, you know, pillars of our community.

You've got to be kidding me, Ruben.

EDIT: Removed some careless, knee-jerk defamation on my part. It wasn't right, and it's not like me to behave like that. For that, I am ashamed.

Great post I started reading , thinking to myself wow what a piece of garbage , and it read very well with a solid narrative being pushed with what seemed to be a legitimate confession and a very creative way of backing it up.
This is why I love #steemit , you got my follow/upvote/re steem .

There's a reason people read my content on days that are not the 1st of April :P

I see what this is. It April 1st. You nearly almost got me sucked in.

Wow! This post is now on trending page! Edward Snowden was the person came to my mind while reading this. I'm yet to learn how to make texts extra small as you did.

<sub>Your Text</sub>

The more "sub" you add on both sides, the smaller it gets.

@mathowl you need to analyze this.

We owls are not fools :-)

The tear of sympathy for you almost fell from my eyes. But, I realised. Yeah, it's april fools day. And, you caught me off guard. My tears got sucked by my eyes immediately. Like a phlegm you ignore to spit because there was nothing to spit out into yet. Anyways, Imma call this a nice one tho! 👍👍👏uu

I'm not sure why you had to make your comment sound so disgusting, but still thanks :P

Hahaha, really sorry about that. But you really caught me tho. Hahaha

that was very nice and cruel joke but it was also risky because you might get downvoted by a whale who didn't read the small print
this made my day but please change your photo back soon because your confusing me lol

I will, tomorrow. And I am a bit scared of the scenario you mentioned, it's actually the only reason there is a small print.

good thing there is a small print because the post was scary good so everyone would have Believed it lol

I'm impressed myself, because some DID believe it.

nobody has all the truth in their hands

nailed it

I was thinking this was a the most self-indulgent post I've ever read.. then I realized it was April 1st.. ugh.. good job!

Thank you! :P

Great April fool's joke. :D

Since I know you, I have been quite confused.
Suesa a man... did I miss something big?
Well, I won't judge you for your personal gender preferences.

But the part with

And who of you believed the whole story about me being a biology student working on her bachelor’s degree anyways?

Naaaahhh I won't believe you!

Anyways, thank you for telling the truth.

Happy Easter

Damn You, you cannot hope to tell about the Big Pharma agenda and think we will let you get away with it. You are messing with the wrong crowd sonny boy. Maybe those Illuminati pussies or tobacco trolls would let you get away with this,

but we are Big Pharma and we don't take shit from no-one.

Good joke :) Happy April 1st by the way. But it is possible that you lose the followers who don't read your post till the end, or the ones who just believe what you have written without checking the comments... Don't you find that post risky for you??

I think that the followers who have known me for a while will stay. The others ... well, we will see. Don't care that much about the follower count. I trust that most people are smart enough to realize this is a joke.

Best April Fools on steemit... by far...

I actually had somebody come to me: "Yooo... Suesa is a guy!!!" and that was NOT because of this post but merely because you had changed avatar...

Oh the outrage! Kudos! That took some serious balls, which as we all know now... you actually have those!

This was apprpraitely titled and so well written i couldnt lift my eyes off the page until the very end. I'm grateful you introduced me to steemstem and unintentionally helped me rediscover my scientific roots and inclinations. Whatever your reasons for what you did and what ypu have done, you did it. Move forward, that's all that matters.
I don't know you enough to care, but i care enough as a human being to feel concerned about your state of mind at the time of writing this.
Take care.
I really love your writing style.

Always be aware what day it is when something seems off. And always read the small print at the bottom of the page.

Lol. You had me. I just did.

Poor Vanessa

Don't laugh 😂

Literally just started today. This is an interesting insight into the Steemit community xD

I initially wanted to say "no! Don't! This was just a joke!" but if I'm honest, the comment section provides a great insight to the community. I'm so sorry.

Exactly. I was mainly referring to the comments section haha.

Wonder what would the comment section look like if it's not posted on April 1. hahaha. Happy April fools. XD

Let's see how many miss the disclaimer or just BELIEVE IN THE TRUTH

I didn't even see the disclaimer to start with ^^

Kind of intentional tbh. I didn't want to put one, but knew I needed to have it there, just in case. So I made it tiny.

Wow this is dramatic.. Your writing really is great and I too did think you were a woman so at least in those you are right. Altough considering this context it's really hard to trust in what you are telling now.

Always be aware of what day it is

Oh my.. I've totally remembered this but didn't expect to be fooled on the internet. Shame on me.

Lol, didn't mean it like that 🙈

I was dumbfounded at first, but then I realized today is the first day of April - April Fool's Day😂😂.

Happy New Month @suesa.

Not again in my life would someone fool me. Not even you suesa. Youve got to try harder. I know lots of unsuspecting folks will fall for this, poor them ^^. See you in your next post. Cheers

:P

Between, thanks for letting the world know your crush.

Oh, yeah, this random pixabay.com guy is SO HOT (=totally not my type)

Sure. Just gonna pull your legs even though I do not know if that's an acceptable joke to Germans ^^. By the way, I don't expect you not to have a weird taste in men. You know I have my reasons.

you don't expect me not to have a weird taste in men? So you think I do have a weird taste in men? I don't get why

You want me to state my reasons? Like poles attract. Sorry, I had to derive my own version of the law.

Hahaha, you had me going for a minute. That was a good one :p

Thanks :D

First I was like what are you talking about? This does not sound like you, I was really confused thinking this can't be real, until I looked on my laptop date remembered April Fools Day!

Unfortunately, my eyesight is not good enough to see the last 2 lines so I'll take all the above as the truth :)

YOU SHOULD BECAUSE IT TOTALLY IS


source

FD.

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