The bus has moved finally. The AC is on and am frozen like a male brain assimilating the female form for the first time. I thought up the bright idea to wear a T-shirt. I forgot that my body is not comfortable with airconditioning units. I feel sleepy but I feel too cold to sleep. That's kind like a high right? You would know, wouldn't you?
A pretty girl sits beside me. I have thought of leaning into her warmth but I don't think a slap is a good way to begin this journey. I still have several hours of sit down time and a warm right cheek with the imprint of a hand on it is not really nice no matter how cold I may feel.
I think I am going to read. There's this fantasy novel I have been ignoring for some weeks now. It's time to go back to it, repentant and humble. It's either that or a tattered copy of the Richest Man in Babylon. I don't want to read any book about saving money now. I'd feel like a sinner reading the ten commandments. There is nothing pleasing that.
The driver has finally changed the music. He had on one Yoruba music for an hour now. I had no clue what the woman was saying in the song and I am not even curious to find out. Well, Wyclef and Mary J Blige are trying to get the police's attention but they don't seem to have a phone so;
"Someone please call 911".
I have been calling some folks just to keep in touch. Road travel is boring and tiring. I hope steem would rise soon so I can have enough money to start travelling by air. 😂, See how far this Warri boy has come. I'd be singing with Casper Noyovest;
"Mama I made it!"
Someone commented on my second ulogs that he envied my ability to be open about myself. Well I am actually talking to myself most of the time when I write.
Writing helps order my thoughts, make them coherent and easily understood. I told @djoi once that I feel like I sound more intelligent when I write than when I speak. I feel that I make use of more words in my writing than I will ever find convenient or even remember to use when I am speaking. I don't know if I correct but discord shows are helping. Everyone is trying to be very American and I am tagging along; you know what I'm saying?
I should have bought a mint gum. This silence would make my mouth go sour if I am not careful, Lol and I am hungry. Unfortunately I don't eat before embarking on journeys. I have a weak stomach and nothing is as embarrassing as stopping the bus and rushing into the bushes to do your thing.
I wouldn't want to be the guy, some pretty girl will be shifting from because she is unsure of what I had used to wipe my ass. No one wants to shake shithands or allow shithands to tap phone numbers into their phone. So that is why I don't eat.
Another pecularity of mine is that I don't buy gifts. People always tell me to buy them stuff when embarking on a journey but I never do. My reason is simple; I detest carrying luggage. I already hate the fact that I have a big bag filled with clothes, a rucksack filled with shoes and a portmanteau filled with books. Where the fuck am I supposed to put your kilishi (dried sauced meat), breads, onions, wrappers, yam, and all the weird things you all asking for. Jeez!
I also enjoy packing in the last minute, so I usually forget stuff like toothbrush, slippers, boxer shorts, when I travel because I tend to be rushed. This time though, I left nothing. That room is sanitized, i tell you. Wait I didn't wash the bed sheet and pillow case. Oh well, my cousin will fight that battle, i am out.
The driver is crawling on the road as if we are tourists viewing the sights but it's better than a bus driver that thinks he is an air pilot. I'd rather have a tour guide than have unnecessary pressure on my chest from air displacement; thank you. But the way he is driving, we will probably get to Benin long after the next presidential election. Well if Buhari is contesting again and there are no suitable opponents, I'd rather be stuck on the road while that disaster is unfolding than be in front of any TV set, even if it is a monochrome TV with knobs and static.
How did I arrive at politics and elections? Let me retrace my steps. Wyclef is singing something in Haitian French. I don't know what he is saying and it is annoying. I have put on my earpiece. I can't be listening to this shit. I'll be right back, I need to select a good song.
Hey found it; Ink Edwards, Chairman Medley. It's a medley of songs from MI Abaga's album. You don't know about that right? Wow turbulent skies, sorry road. Well I am yet to get to Lokoja. Maybe if you are good, I'll take some terrible pictures of me being cheated of my money.
I have had to sell lots of sbd in the past few weeks and it had hurt to do so. Probably this is one of the reasons why I am going back home. I am broke.
We are over a bridge that strides across a river interspaced with islands of sand. Its beautiful to see. I wish I could stop the driver and take a picture but that is a no-no. That will get me a shitface. I can't have that. Shithands and shitface won't look good on my resume.
I am a terrible travel guide. I know. If you are not impressed, don't worry, it gets worse.
I don't think I have written anything funny here but there are some folks whose idea of funny is out of this world, so who knows, I might just catch them while they are choking on kilishi and bread.
So I nominate @breezin and @dorth to join the fun.
Good morning again.
©warpedpoetic
I know that feeling. In India, we also often have to stand inside the bus due to lack of seats. So, it is double jeopardy. At least you dont throw up. My sil did that for two hours straight when we went to an interior part of Karnataka state and the roads were hair pin bends. Yikes
hopefully sbd or steem will go up
voted 100%
Lol, there's no way I'd be standing in a speeding anything. I would rather trek, thank you.
Thanks for stopping by @sayee. I hope it rises too.
Hehehe. Travel safe dear.
Your post has been upvoted by @steemiansarens trail. Our goal is to support minnows and help them grow. You can join our discord server here and Whastapp here.. You can also support us by either contributing steem or delegating SP to us
Your stories are getting better :) humor is tricky to do in writing form, as in stand-up so much of it is inflection and facial features, although you can develop this in writing. Keep it up :)
yeah @supernal. It is difficult trying to make people laugh in the written form. I am not much of a fun guy anyways.
So, you didn't talk to that pretty girl?
I was waiting till when you reveal who she is.😁
She is married bro. I saw the ring a few minutes after this post went live. I gave her Tom Tom sweet though. 😂