I've been speaking and teaching for well over a decade to those curious about freedom. I've seen many who want to be free but are not ready to pay the price for freedom and do what it takes to be free. To explain this process, I need to explain what surrender REALLY means and to do that I need to explain the concept of will and ability.
We live in a universe where free will reigns, meaning we have the ability to live our lives as we see fit. We were given the gift of self-determination by Creator and we all used that power to become feudal serfs to the war lords of the planet. We still have free will to reverse that decision if we chose to engage in that journey and process. However, over time our ability to be free has been significantly diminished making it harder and harder to do the work to accomplish freedom. That ability rests with our intellect, physical body, emotional body and spirit. Being very young, very old, struggling with physical constraints, etc all take away from our ability to do the work which has negative impacts on free will. But this does not make it impossible when we form families and clans so that we can work together. There is always a way to work around these constraints.
Over time, we all have drifted into one of four scenarios depending on our will and ability to be free.
If we lack the will and ability to be free (lower left), then we have resigned to being a slave and will most likely remain a slave until we find a way to change both.
If we have the will but lack the ability (lower right), then the individual is most likely already engaged in training or other activities to compensate for the lack of skills or relationships he / she needs. The family or clan can be built to augment any vulnerabilities they have within their ability set.
There are some individuals who have the ability but lack the will (top left). These people could easily be free but they don't want to be. They completely lack the will to even contemplate the idea.
Those with the will and the ability (top right) are most likely already free or well on their way to getting there.
The vast majority of people are in the lower or left quadrants with a few people finding their way to the upper right. Obviously there are a million shades of gray and that our assessment of ability and will is not so black and white as I literally displayed in the picture. We are all at different stages depending on where we are in our lives. But what does it take to get into the upper right quadrant? What does it take to acquire the ability and the will to be free?
Surrender
I believe that we all have it within ourselves the will and ability to be free. I have no doubt about that statement. But how do we get there? I am reminded of my own surrenders in my life. There were many, but two big ones stick out in my mind when writing this post. The first surrender I did happened in 2000 when I was at the peak of my depression. Between 1998 - 2000 I had been hospitalized six times as a result of my depression. Each time I was in the hospital I was detoxing off of one pharmaceutical psychotropic cocktail and being doped up onto another. I was addicted to pharmaceutical drugs as I blamed my body and everyone else for my problems and absolutely refused to accept responsibility for my own behaviours, health and relationships. I lacked the will to change yet I was perfectly capable of doing the work. I was stuck in the top left quadrant and refused to learn. I lived my life my way and it did not matter how many people confronted me about it and I thought they were all idiots! I dug in my heals and refused to listen or contemplate what was being said. I avoided confrontation at all costs as it was easier for me to hold this position in my life. It was my way or the highway.
However, my depression got worse and worse. I attempted suicide and was nearly successful. Yet that was not enough to break my stubbornness. Though 2000 and into 2001 I finally hit rock bottom. I was a tired and broken man. I had lost my family, friends, home and nearly every possession I had. I was confronted with a choice.
Change or die
At that point I decided to change as death was my motivation. I did not realize it at the time, but that is the very moment that my will shifted and that put me into the bottom right quadrant. My willingness to learn took a sharp turn but I quickly found out I lacked the ability and skills. I decided to do the work despite the pain, sadness, anxiety, fear, anger, frustration and all the other emotions and feelings I was going through. It was a painful process but I had a dogged determination and refused to quit as the alternative was death. I found a courage that I did not know I had as I confronted my own behaviour, belief structures, relationships, self love and every other detail within my life. EVERYTHING was on the table. No sacred cows. It all got examined and evaluated as it all pointed to my own inability to hold healthy relationships with myself and others. With the shift in my will power, I then acquired the abilities that I was missing my whole entire life and I found my way to the top right quadrant. I did not realize that I also lacked the abilities to hold a healthy relationship, which actually meant that I was in the bottom left quadrant for the majority of my life. Despite my intellect I had no idea what healthy relationships were all about. With my surrender to change, I acquired both and it saved my life.
My second surrender
This surrender occurred in 2006 when my wife and I decided to sell everything and move off grid. Because we both went through the first surrender process already and reconciled our relationship on top of that, we already knew what it would take. We had the will but again lacked the ability. But that did not stop us as we decided to acquire the ability along the way. We took a leap of faith in ourselves, in Creator and our ability to work out the problems as they come. We surrendered our colonial, feudal slave life in exchange for freedom. We walked away from a way of life that has gripped the vast majority and took a leap of faith in Creator to provide for our needs. Over time we have build the skills and ability to have a healthy relationship with Mother Earth and that in turn provides for our needs. We have found a sense of freedom in our relationships because my wife and I healed ourselves and reconciled our relationship with ourselves and each other.
This surrender process starts within and it is critical as the surrender shifts our will to learn, change, adapt, grow and acquire the ability to life a new, healthier life.
I'm not talking about people deciding to make New Years resolutions. That is not the type of shift that I'm talking about. This is a profound leap of faith where we are prepared to let go of everything and start all over again. It is like walking out the front door and never coming back. It is like hearing we have terminal cancer and changing our life style to address the illness. That is what I mean by surrender. That is what is required if we want to be free. This is a life changing, life altering leap of faith into the abyss.
I'm talking about finding the courage within ourselves to turn our lives completely up-side-down and start all over again. I had to do that in order to heal from my depression. My depression was not a result of chemical imbalances in the brain, but rather was cognitive behaviours that I fixed by completely changing how I see myself, behave and act around myself and other people. Our slavery to the system was not a result of being chained to a desk, but rather was the result of our unwillingness to take full responsibility and accountability for our lives and choosing to be completely dependent on others rather than living independently!
I've been a witness to thousands who are interested in freedom but are not ready to surrender. They fear losing what they have and are not willing to walk away from it all to acquire what their heart is yearning for. A surrender involves doing a lot of mourning as we say good bye to an old way of life. I stand on the other side of working through two profoundly significant surrender events in my life. I am forever grateful and if I had to do another surrender I would leap with both feet and complete faith in myself and Creator.
I know many people who refuse to surrender and I pray that they find it within their hearts to take that leap of faith. But the battle drums of war ring strongly and it is hard to silence those drums. But if we want peace and freedom, those drums must be smashed and we walk away from the battle field. I too beat on those drums as I fought through depression and my first surrender helped me leave the battle which saved my life.
End the war! Surrender to what Creator is wanting us to learn so that we can Graduate Life with Honours!
A very touching and emotional read. i too have fear. This is not an easy obstacle to overcome. It can freeze you motionless like a rabbit in a cars headlights. i believe you are the master of your own fear. You have been to a dark place, and now walk in the light. Total respect for the comeback. Like you, i was into contact sports from an early age with boxing, winning many championships and representing my country before becoming a boxing coach for around 17 years. Building self confidence in others so that they may have faith in themselves and a respect for others. Whilst those that have fear need only to ask for a guiding hand to help them overcome the fear, i believe if one can build spiritual self awareness of ones own capabilities then that fear can be controlled so that they take their "leap of faith". We stand on the edge ready jump. Thank you for sharing, it gives me hope and i hope it will give others the confidence to share.
:D Indeed. Well said. Bravo for being such a positive influence on other youth as a leader and trainer. The world needs more people like you! You and I think a lot a like my friend. <3 I share your thoughts in that I too hope that others find the courage to share their journey. If more people share, we will realize that we are not alone and that we all struggle with similar issues and it is possible to overcome them.
First of all, well done for bouncing off rock bottom, some don't make it but you did.
What you talk about I can relate with deeply, as I suspect a fair few readers can. I've always been told I sit in the top left square, almost 'holding the door' for people to pass in front - that's suited me to a point.
A few years ago was my rock bottom, various negatives arrived all at once and winter 2015 was my bounce/don't bounce time.
I had to make wholesale changes, and take that leap of faith, sacrificing relationships with friends and family. I'd sacrificed my own health for them for too long though, and had failed to notice the lake of personal care until it was panic stations.
3 years on, a new Island or two and plenty of sunshine later, I feel like a new person and am proud to say I made it to the 'top right'.
Your words are a pleasure to read @wwf, thank you for sharing with us.
Thank you. It was a very dark chapter of my life, but it was also the chapter I learned the most. It helped prepare me for this period of my life.
Bravo my friend. Now the trick is to stay up there. Complacency will find our will slip, but with vigilance and persistence we can maintain that drive towards continual self-improvement. It is so wonderful to meet others who have gone through similar experiences and are now leaders in their own right. Keep up the great work my friend.
Yes it is a good idea to stay on guard and find it encouraging to know I succeeded through the dark times, and use that as my desire for vigilance because it somewhere I do not want to be again.
Thank you again for teaching and reminding me to stay on course.
You teach me too and remind me to stay on course. Thank you! <3
This is the most effective and deepest article i have read ever on Ability Vs Will ( A very core topic of the Psychology). I can understand how much you depressed you were as you attempted suicide. Emile Darkheim's theory of Anomie elaborated why one commit suicide and exactly same you felt.
I am happy you surrendered and entered to a new phase of life with your wife ( indeed she remained a biggest factor to bring you back from that fatal phase of life typically around 98-99)
Man was created with vision with critical approach towards life but not as a slave. In Quran Allah says
On another place Allah mentioned in Quran
Credit goes to you My friend, you yourself changed your condition and finally you've entered into the most blessed part of life as you got the meaning of life.
Happy for you @wwf
It was a lot of hard work my friend. I am grateful that I found my way out of hell on earth. The experience taught me that life is not about the stuff, but rather is ALL about our relationships. That requires a huge surrender in of itself to make that kind of shift. But we are working hard and sharing our journey in the hopes that others can relate as you have.
Thank you for quoting the Quran. Very beautiful and pointed message to this topic. We can find truths everywhere if we take the time to look and have the eyes to see and the ears to hear. Thank you. May Creator bless you with peace, freedom, prosperity, joy and love.
Yes Life is all about relationship as we have to live with fellow human being. Others will relate to it with the passage of time as they need to learn it too.
Thanks for your kind appreciation and affection My Friend @wwf
May God Bless you a very sound life ahead Amen!
More detail: the origin in human : wants freedom
_ The fixed is the ability. (cannot change)
_ The unfixed is the will. (can change)
The will changes according of the circumstances, the social and psychological condition and the degree of acceptance of the free life.
as you said : we need to Surrender to get rid of the social and psychological situation....
In order to reach freedom we must increase the will. So we can override the ability.
For me: I'm trying to give up.-I believe I'll get to the point of freedom.. Because I'm on the right track.
thank you my brother @wwf
I have will and some ability.
Hi Kathy! I'm so glad you commented as I had no other way to say hello to you here! Welcome to Steemit and I'm glad you are here! <3
I am learning the ropes. I had no idea how to function here. I know what a block chain is now. This post of yours is the one that made me decide to make my introduction I am working on it. Peace to you.
I look forward to reading it! <3
“Enlightenment means taking full responsibility for your life.”
― William Blake
Even things like no longer blaming others for parts of our lives we don't like or bringing ourselves into the present moment are forms of surrender. Freedom is always there waiting for us.
Thanks for the write up, this is still something I'm working on in my life.
Indeed. We have nobody to blame but ourselves. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for being honest to admit that we all have work to do in this life time. It take courage to admit that and is part of the surrender process. Kudos to you.
Powerful stuff, thank you @wwf for sharing your journey. Your honesty is to be applauded, most folks would only share a portion of themselves. I believe the upper left quadrant is getting larger all the time, with a steady trickle streaming in to the upper right. I'm nowhere near where I want to be yet, but I am getting closer.
It takes time my friend. I am grateful that you are working your way to having the will and ability to be free. Bravo. It takes courage to take that leap of faith. Keep up the great work! I pray that by sharing my journey others find inspiration to do the same in their own lives. That is how we change the world. <3
Thank you, the impact you are having is immeasurable.
Great read. I agree I can relate myself to being in denial for a long time, and as you point out in your article through your own experiences, sometimes we have to reach the bottom to rise to the top. Exercising the will is vital, its like a muscle the more you use it the stronger it gets!
Thank you for sharing your life journey from depression to freedom with us! I believe that our Creator saved you and helped you achieve who you are today in order for you to be a teacher to guide many others including me! It's a blessing to me and I am grateful for the wisdom you have shared on this platform.
Thank you @cheneats. I believe the same. I have no doubt in my mind that my life purpose is to teach people how to have a healthy relationship and the implications of that is immense. That is the whole purpose of my blog brother! Thank you for recognizing that as well! <3 Peace to you.
I'm grateful I never reached the lows that you did and applaud that you pulled yourself up from that. I learnt early on that you are ultimately the only one who can help yourself. Other's can offer assistance, but if you don't make the decision to make that change then they cannot help you.
For those that recover from or live with depression the uniting theme is that in the end they took the steps to themselves to overcome it. Many offer advice and help to try and guide others, but they will often be faced with lashback and excuses that their depression is worse and can only be helped by drugs and from others outside. It can be insulting in some ways that they devalue what those who have recovered have gone through, but they are sadly locked in a prison of their own making without realising.
As a young teenager I was in a situation where I should have had the protection of the adults in my life, but did not get it. After two years I realised that my only way out was by my own methods. I grew up quickly and from there on learnt that for every problem I could to find my own solutions, whatever they may be. In a way, the failure of those adults has strengthened me, so I have finally forgiven them.
I agree with you. In the end it is up to the individual to do the work and heal. Despite all the efforts that others make to help them, it is always a matter of free will. We cannot change anybody but ourselves. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your own experience. Peace to you.
Wow! Just wow! I was mesmerized reading this. Mesmerized coz I related to this so much!
And how you bounced back from rock bottom is an inspiration. Respect.
For freedom, you need to Surrender. ✨
This article has given me a lot to think about and process. Bookmarking it for a repeat read.
Thank you for writing this 🙏🏻
Thank you @hardikv. I hope that my journey brings inspiration to others and I am grateful that you could relate to it at such a deep level. May Creator bless you along your journey. I speak more about this journey in my book and throughout this blog as well. Peace to you.
Firstly
I did not know you were in suicide attempt. You are a very valuable person. My mother language is not english and I hardly read your writings. However still your writing adds value to my life.
I just wonder, what do you think about that this sentence: "Freedom is equal responsibility. Responsibility is equals unhappiness"
Thank you. As for your sentence, I agree with the first part and disagree with the second. If somebody is unhappy it is most likely that have not surrendered and learned how to be free or responsible. As a result they view it with contempt and that is not freedom but rather them pulling a big pout because they are doing something they don't want to do but feel forced into. But it is still a free will choice.
thaks for comment
I quote your sentence ..... that willingness must coincide with the ability to achieve success, if both there is not very difficult can be achieved what we expect .... thanks
Wow ausome post
Thank you. I think the acceptance came after the surrender in order to actually hear what others were trying to share with me. But I can see it in a way. If that word works well for you than all the more power to you. Bravo.
As for my belief in Creator, I wrote a book about all that. If you want to venture down the rabbit hole.
https://steemit.com/book/@wwf/graduating-life-with-honours-full-book-with-links-to-each-chapter