We have so so so many things in common, with slight variations.
I experience your kind of loneliness too. I can relate to people though and connect with them but when it comes down to toughest of times and i look just around me in my physical location, i still wouldn't be able to pick one, that i can really turn to. But that has to do with location currently. Look at the picture i used to describe it long ago:
I also go into people minds and even fear their fears for them.
Plus, the job thing doesn't fit.
You do know yourself but you are still finding that part of yourself that appears lost but it is not and overtime, you will find it. It takes some stubbornness and exertion though, to tame your mind just a bit. Cos i go through that alot. It is not easy to live with your mind, if it is always bugging you. More recently, i can't even take a physical step without my mind coming into the picture say "if you take that step, this or that, will happen" and gosh you lose freedom and leave with fears. Ultimately, with fears, you lose freedom but this battle isn't lost i tell you. It is a hard battle though but based on other facets of you as seen in this post, you have the qualities to take what's yours back. Connecting with someone on special levels can help bring you to a fixing but even fears will stand as a barrier to that, so it has got to be gradual, with tiny steps first, like letting go, like you just did. Then making every "letting go" an actual progress and never going back. I will pause there on solutions. It takes time. You have to create illusions of beauty and let this begin to mean something. Divert love your kids way too.
As for my physical state, i have got to that stage too where ever clatter bangs straight into my head. I think that has a lot to do with the state of my very stiff nerves. I have lost the ability to relax plus recent events.
You have one big plus. Understanding humans and life is rare knowledge even til date and its a gift. In your case, it very much is.
I am glad to see you back up a bit.
I a gree with you