I like your use of dialogue to give depth and sense of realism to the tale. I am quite impressed overall with what is going on in these pages. (Can we still call them pages. lol) For a free write it really is quite excellent and an enviable outcome for most writer. I'm jealous. LOL. My first are always complete nonsense:)
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Thanks a lot! I've kind of lost the good habit of doing a freewrite every day, but it really helps. If anything, it gives you more confidence.