Very nice! I would have liked a little more context but I will just imagine this is the start of something bigger and let my brain fill in the blanks :P
I was expecting an independent short story. Meaningful in itself so it might not be your writing's fault. Don't segment your stories, I do 2000 word articles and would do more if I would have more time, but I have found that a 7 minute read is what works best for me as a single story.
Thanks for the advice!
This was actually a writing prompt for the BuddyUp server's Drop in the Ocean show. I normally write about health topics and I was at a loss so I thought I would try out a little bit of fiction to illustrate the word dedication.
I had read @conficker post on Cerebral Palsy Children and thought to build the story around that.
Anyway - fiction is well out of my comfort zone! So.....
This week's topic is CREATIVITY - Show is on Monday - You should join us!