I was out walking with Flame earlier in the year. This was at a time when there was uncertainty in the air but the breeze was fresh and the snow crunchy underfoot.
On the way to the railway path - which constituted our longer walk of that particular day, we turned down a side-street. There were parked cards along the curb, bins on the pavement and some litter had been randomly strewn about by the wind.
As we passed a parked white van, something underneath it caught my eye. Perhaps it was a flash of handwriting that drew me to inspect it closer; perhaps I merely responded to something emanating from within it, calling out to me for attention.
Anyhow, I bent down and picked whatever it was up out of its bed of wet, matted leaves. It was a note to someone called Samadhi (what a name). The first side of this little note read as follows:
Happy birthday bestie!!🖤
I love you so much you don't even know it. I'm so glad that I can call you my friend and celebrate your 17"
What a nice little note! The name Samadhi seemed to me to be a girl's name and the intimacy of the language suggested it had been written by a girl.
I turned the note over and read on:
"birthday with you.
Keep being your usual, funny, caring, AMAZING self.
I hope 17 treats you well!
🖤 Soph XXX"
Unusually for me, I happened to be carrying my phone and took a couple of low-res photos. I replaced the note just as I had found it, first side up.
I pondered the note speculatively:
- was Samadhi a precious princess who would have valued such a note? Did she rather focus on the gift that was attached to it, discarding the note in the gutter after skim-reading it with little attention or appreciation?
- was the beautiful sense of friendship which made the note sparkle reciprocated? Was the lost note missed by the birthday girl for whom her friend's precious words meant more than any gift?
- what of Soph? Was she sincere in what she wrote, and if so, how amazing and powerful this statement is: I love you so much you don't even know it. It's what drew me to the note; those are the words that inspired me to write this post.
- was Soph, I speculated further, destined through life to be heart-broken by folk refusing her gift of love? Or - and I like this one - is the fact that she could even express herself like this a sign of the kind of emotional strength and wisdom that might carry her through life on a less bumpy journey?
I hoped that Samadhi enjoyed her 17th birthday and I wondered if their friendship would still be alive through their 20s and beyond.
Man and dog continued our walk around the railway path, completing the circuit. The note was still there on our way back although the light had begun to fade.
For the next few days when we passed I would look and see the note lying under the bodies of various parked vehicles. Then came a period of a few days where we walked elsewhere and didn't pass the side-street in question. When we next did and I looked for the note, it was gone - the words dissolved, I guess, into the wondrous mystery whence they came.