Not avoiding situations where my inner judge comes into play is what saves me from becoming ignorant too much.
This is excellent practice. Judgement is simply a survival tool. We need it at times. It isn't something to be avoided or thrown away. We need only recognize where judgement originates and see that the decision we make by using it isn't correct or incorrect in any fundamental way. It is just one of those thought bubbles that pop up from time to time that need to be examined and then let go.
I decide whether I will stop at a red light or ignore it and continue into the intersection. I stop not because it's the law but because perhaps that is the most appropriate action, a decision that will potentially protect me from physical damage. We get into trouble when we take great pride in our decision and feel that somehow it is superior to not stopping. It isn't. It's just our judgement call.
Somehow society has gotten the notion that judgement is a bad thing, that avoiding that suspicious looking black kid or that cop car parked behind the bush is being discriminatory. And of course it is. It is discernment, a necessary survival skill. Entangling your ego with judgement is the stumbling block.
it caused me too much head/heartache and nothing good came out of it other than I was contagiously handing my pain over to the next one.
Please don't take any of this as a personal attack. It isn't. I totally understand where you are coming from because I've been there too. Pain and discomfort avoidance is another interesting cultural change that I've experienced within the span of my lifetime: people's belief that pain is to be avoided and not experienced to it's fullest and that being challenged to examine themselves and their actions is inconvenient and detrimental to their well being.
Pain is a wonderful teacher. It tells us that something is amiss. A person could walk around with a stone in their shoe and simply take a pain pill rather than discovering the problem and then remove the stone. By avoiding the pain, they're damaging their foot and not taking care of themselves. People who refuse to examine their actions because it makes them feel bad about themselves, damages their "self" image are the reason the world is dying beneath our feet. Problems must be recognized before they can be fixed. Avoiding issues because they are painful perpetuates them.
If you'll recall Ekhart Tolle's story of his liberation, how he was suicidal and utterly despondent; he could no longer live with himself. He hit bottom and from that emotional pain he experienced tremendous growth. Had he avoided his pain, he never would have evolved and nobody would ever have heard of him.
Thank you for sharing. You'll see yourself grow as you continue to monitor your thoughts and emotions. I'm nothing like I was even just a few years ago. It is a difficult and potentially dangerous path, but if there is any purpose to this crazy life, this is it.
I have yet to find my sangha. This is my 40 years alone in the wilderness. Thanks for the conversation.
I thank you, ... @citizenzero. Would like to know your real name :)
that is another good picture to get the message. Now I hang up the phone. LOL!
Yeah, this is it.
I am having a hard time to see it as dangerous any more. I rather look at it as a blessing. But still attach a good amount of heaviness in it. But this is going to be of lighter weight, I guess when time goes by. At least when death is knocking on my door :)
I'm @citizenzero more than I am the person who created him. Plus, I feel that my position could damage relationships in my real (fictive) life so it's better that I remain anonymous right now. @citizenzero is not generating any interest but I'm determined to get my message out there because I feel it's important. I can (and have) written about anything including dandelions and unicorns. I just don't think that stuff is important. Being a cheerleader is much more popular in a world filled with righteous angst, but CZ is a truth teller and not a panderer.
I actually lost a good friend with this manuscript. He would not speak to me after I let him read it. I know it is very powerful but the world is not receptive to the message since it chews away at the very foundation of people's misguided beliefs.
Since I also would like to be "successful" on Steemit, I plan to twin very soon. That will be the incarnate me, the person who lives an apparent life within a rigid society. Since I'm truly not motivated along the line of cheerleader, I've made it into an experiment to gauge the escapism factor of modern people. It is already apparent to me, but not in my prose against my prose. It'll be fun.
It is dangerous if you don't have proper guidance. In my satori experience, my ego completely disappeared. I totally understood the meaning of liberation. But then my ego returned with a vengence and reattached itself firmly. I was very young, alone on a beach with no one with a similar experience to talk to. Perhaps if it had happened in an asram or temple I could have developed further while the experience was fresh. It didn't. Enlightenment became an object and a goal, which is a huge mistake. The experience taught me that what the sages claim is real and possible, so I could never just chalk the experience to being a hallucination or illusion. It became a paradox that has pushed me in a direction that hasn't been particularly fulfilling for me. For whatever reason, I accept this as the path I was meant to take, but it has been hard and I fear, needlessly painful. It's not fun to watch the world destroy itself when you know it is totally unnecessary. If I were truly enlightened, it wouldn't matter a whit. Unfortunately there is still an imaginary "me" experiencing all of this mental and emotional upheaval. Therein lies the danger.