You wrote: " I do think that I am spiralling upwards though even though at a day to day level, it doesn't always feel that way"
Reading your post two things came to my mind.
- I think spiralling is the way most of us develop, that is quite normal.
- It's very important to understand that our mental thoughts (how we feel) depend also on our physical condition. That is very important for myself I noticed. If I haven't slept so well, have a headache, had a misunderstanding with somebody etc. Something weird happens. What I liked one day I see as a failure an other day only because I do not feel so well physically. It affects my mental condition. Because I know how it works for me, I can cope with it, but it remains a strange phenomenon.